Stuff. Nonstandard teenage fantasies. Also, things.

1. At first I was going to break the chain of happy blogs and have a bit of a vent since work was building up and I was feeling ill and my social life had stopped improving... But then I realised something.

Yes, I wasn't happy with my life. And in fact, it was the first time since coming out of depression that I had been genuinely unhappy. And it was interesting. Because it was different.

When I was depressed, unhappiness meant life failure -> total emotional collapse -> lie in bed for three days and lament. Now, while I'm still not happy, the grey, numbing fog that I was expecting didn't come. I just saw the problems, understood why they were difficult, and was sad. That was then tempered by the knowledge that now my life was going somewhere, and the new me, the more resilient me, could get over those problems and at some point be happy again.

So I'm sad. But I'm not torn up about it either. Is this what optimism is? Because I have a sudden urge to say 'I know it'll be alright'.

2. Rather than drunkeness or casual drug use, I have extreme tiredness and poor nutrition, like the hallucinating spirit-callers of the Stone Age. Like many drugs, it causes an increased perception of my own abilities. This often manifests in the form of inane conversation, poorly-advised art and a total ignorance of social boundaries. The following drawing is therefore posted here with no further explanation.



FACT: Disgruntled Intern's beard can actually do this.

Yes, those are fists forming from MA's moustache.
The book I'm holding is the Avoluminous Encyclopædia of All Knowledge. It's really heavy and I hit people with it.
That thing in my mouth is a pipe.
The perspective is wrong and I forgot what DI looked like apart from the beard, but what do you expect at two in the morning?

3. put \X/ in your comment
and i will tell you what i think of you

But I'll use proper punctuation.