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It's a lie I'm not a ghost
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Rambling

Posted 02-02-2012 at 12:43 AM by Slog Bait
So I've spent my short amount of time back trying to catch up a bit with what's happened around here and took a quick look at the past.

My god I was horrible. I joined when I did feeling confident I was mature enough to go onto a forum without acting like a complete idiot/tool, and failed miserably at it. Right now, I can only hope I've improved during my absence.

Anyways, prepare for a wall of text. As the title implies, this blog post is going to have plenty of rambling.

-----v Rambling starts here v-----


When I just kind of disappeared, like my "hey, I'm back guys just so you know" thread had said, I completely forgot my log in information. I would have just done the whole, oooh forgot my password, better click this link so I can receive an email and get back to running around on the forum mindlessly again, but I can't exactly say I felt very... welcome or liked. Obviously I knew I wasn't completely hated or I would have ended up with neg rep all over the damn place and more insults than I had gotten.

It's a small, cozy community, and pretty easy to learn who's who over here. I really like that, and it's part of the reason I decided to come back when I did.

While I was gone a lot of shit happened on my end. Things like graduating high school and going to college as a Game Design major. It's pretty exciting. I was really confident in myself and had probably the best self esteem for probably the past year and a half or so, but that all just kind of dissipated when me and a few people were goofing around and comparing our work to when we were all really young and inexperienced in pretty much every form of art.

I've never really like drawing or doing artsy things with a writing utensil, and still don't to this day... but it's the only way I know how to communicate my ideas to people clearly, and the only real talent I have to show off that I'm even remotely comfortable with.

When I compared my current work with things I did in the third grade, I saw little to no improvement. This was really a massive hit to my ego and ever since I realized this I've found myself stuck in a rut and have no clue how to dig my way out, though I'm sure something will come up eventually.

Also in the time I was gone I discovered MSPaintAdventures. Yeah, that's right, I'm a Homestuck. This is actually leading somewhere though, kind of. It was pretty cool, I decided to hop aboard and see if I could integrate myself into the community, which I have done but it's just so massive and with my posting frequency you can kind of assume no one knows me at all. I don't care about any of that "fame" or whatever, but in a community so vast, it's pretty fucking easy to get lost. Another reason OWF is clearly superior in every way to everything. That goes back to the whole "everyone knows everyone" dealie.

At this point I hit preview to proof read my blog to this point. My wording is horrible it's clearly my best feature.

There's a contest going for the next Homestuck album, and that's cool. Being in the horrid art slump I'm in right now that sounded like the perfect excuse to suddenly pick up music (I was actually intending to eventually just for the hell of it. Can't hurt to try something new every once in a while.) and so I installed the copy of Reason 5 my friend gave to me some months or so after it came out. He said he found some other program he preferred to use and he only installed Reason on his computer once. Hooraaay.

Well, I can compose, and I figured out how it works and all, but god dammit now I'm stuck with that too and what the hell do I do school's back up and I can't draw or music or any of that shit right now because my everything is being stupid.

Do blogs have a character limit? This is a thing I must know.

-----^ Rambling ends here wait no it doesn't^-----


UH, RIGHT, SO hello again you guys I'm glad to be back and hopefully this time around I don't slink around being quiet all the damn time and when I do speak up I don't sound like a COMPLETE IMBECILE. I'll probably share some of the crap I did during my NIGH 2 YEAR BREAK if you're interested. Might start a new thread in the fan corner and post meaningless sketches and if you guys have any requests do that too maybe it'll help.

Also very belated "you bastard" and simultaneous "congrats" to Wil at the whole working for J.A.W. thing, and I know other cool and interesting things happened but I haven't seen them yet.

That time I didn't bother proof reading. Take a shot for every time I said something irrelevant to the previous sentence. Two shots if what I said didn't make sense no matter the context.
Total Comments 10

Comments

MeechMunchie's Avatar
tl;dr
Posted 02-02-2012 at 12:22 PM by MeechMunchie

Dixanadu's Avatar
Same.

Do I archive this?
Posted 02-02-2012 at 02:13 PM by Dixanadu

Mr. Bungle's Avatar
Try again in another 1,000 posts dude.
Posted 02-02-2012 at 02:15 PM by Mr. Bungle

Slog Bait's Avatar
Guys if you aren't going to read it why are you even commenting. Really.

It's exactly what it says in the title, just ignore me.

Also for tl;dr if you're even remotely interested I just said "Hey guys I'm glad to be back despite NEVER BEING ACTIVE EVER".
Posted 02-02-2012 at 02:21 PM by Slog Bait

MeechMunchie's Avatar
What? I did read it. "Terribly Long; Difficult to Read"
Posted 02-02-2012 at 03:31 PM by MeechMunchie

Slog Bait's Avatar
I see what you did there.

Sorry for straining your eyes. Hope they didn't suffer too much damage.
Posted 02-02-2012 at 03:34 PM by Slog Bait

OddjobAbe's Avatar
I love going walking.
Posted 02-02-2012 at 05:18 PM by OddjobAbe

Splat's Avatar
:
What? I did read it. "Terribly Long; Difficult to Read"
You fool! That's 'tl;dtr'! What a tremendous error! I snub my nose* at you and laugh at your foolish mistake! Hah!

I did read. I know what you mean when your creativity just doesn't seem to be working, and it can feel pretty crushing. I've had some pretty long bouts of it myself (eg. the entirety of last year) and really I think there are two options. There's the brave, heroic option of pushing through the block and forcing yourself to be creative.
Then there's the cowardly option of hiding under some metaphorical blankets and quietly egging yourself on to push a bit every so often, until eventually things start feeling like they could flow again, and in the mean time don't let it get you down too much.

The author, Neil Gaiman, wrote in a book I read that he stopped writing for a long time due to being tremendously ill, and when he came back to it 'it was like learning to walk all over again'. I'm kind of realising what he meant now. At the end of the day sometimes you have to just push yourself where you don't want to. And sometimes it just doesn't work. But I don't think your creativity is ever as broken or lost as it feels.

*I have no idea what this means.
Posted 02-03-2012 at 06:12 PM by Splat

MeechMunchie's Avatar
:
You fool! That's 'tl;dtr'! What a tremendous error! I snub my nose* at you and laugh at your foolish mistake! Hah!
Pshaw. I bite my thumb at you sir, I do indeed sir. Were we all to initialise connectives when utilising acronyms, where would we be, sir? A world with very long acronyms, sir, yes sir, three bags full sir.
Posted 02-04-2012 at 07:01 AM by MeechMunchie

MA's Avatar
i have no reason to dislike you. well, not one i can remember anyway. ignore the ignorant ignoramuses.
Posted 02-06-2012 at 06:04 PM by MA

 

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