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The Fear Worsens

Posted 11-13-2011 at 08:12 PM by Dixanadu
Earlier, 'pon the 9pm-11pm rota (it's 5.07am as I write this), I decided to get drunk as a motherfucking shit yet again. This results in a five-day binge which is uncommon outside festivities (Halloween, Christmas etc...)

Anyway, I returned home not so long ago... as I walked up stairs (most of you are aware of my bone-deep hatred of arachnids) and I saw a spider on the wall, outside the bath room. Pumped full of alcohol, it has little limits on my fear factor so I literally fucking grabbed it.

Big mistake.

The palm of my hand shot in pain. I'd describe it as someone getting a pair of scissors; heating the tip and nipping my skin til it burst blood.

I didn't burst blood though but it's swollen like a cunt. The culprit, naturally, flew out of my hand after I squealed like a virgin Thai girl in a Bangkok brothel, and attempted to flee under the wash basket that sits 'pon the stairs height.

The dog devoured said arachnid with little prejudice; whimpering within 3 seconds. I'll assume his tongue was bitten; he spat him out then pawed at him for a bit before swallowing the fucker.

My dog stands as my saviour. I carry wounds and a grim reminder that I should never make peace with the enemy.

The war against spiders and their unholy brethren still stands.
Total Comments 32

Comments

mr.odd's Avatar
Hope you made that little arachnid bastard pay. Spiders man. Fuck em. Any way hope you and your dog are all right.
Posted 11-13-2011 at 08:23 PM by mr.odd

Sekto Springs's Avatar
I like spiders.
You're a huge pussy.
Posted 11-13-2011 at 09:21 PM by Sekto Springs

Daxter King's Avatar
Sometimes I think my shit ain't blog worthy.

Then I see shit like this.
Posted 11-13-2011 at 09:37 PM by Daxter King

Dixanadu's Avatar
Coming from a guy who believes sticking the phrase 'Thug Life' on anything is worth looking at.
Posted 11-13-2011 at 09:57 PM by Dixanadu

Sekto Springs's Avatar
When the spider crawls in your dickhole, then blog.
Posted 11-13-2011 at 10:14 PM by Sekto Springs

Dixanadu's Avatar
More like die on the spot.

Dying is the only defence mechanism when faced with a hateful spider.
Posted 11-13-2011 at 10:29 PM by Dixanadu

Daxter King's Avatar
I think it is an improvement.

Posted 11-13-2011 at 10:36 PM by Daxter King

Dixanadu's Avatar
That was just a sickening vortex of unfunny.

Was that it, or... ?
Posted 11-13-2011 at 10:46 PM by Dixanadu

Sekto Springs's Avatar
The sexual tension is tremendous.
Dix and Dax need to just make out already.
Posted 11-13-2011 at 10:47 PM by Sekto Springs

T-nex's Avatar
I never grab spider with my hands. Never. Actually it's exactly because of what happened to you. I'm afraid of them biting me.
But I'm not afraid of spiders. Some of them are cute. And spiders are quite fascinating imo.

But I'd never grab one x_x so scared of the pain.

Also what I really hate is the spider web. It's so...... icky.
But I once made a spider-web candy-floss (I went by a bridge with tons of spider-web).
Posted 11-13-2011 at 11:03 PM by T-nex

MeechMunchie's Avatar


How can you hate his adorable face?
Posted 11-13-2011 at 11:15 PM by MeechMunchie

Mudokon_Master's Avatar
*Squash*
Posted 11-14-2011 at 12:51 AM by Mudokon_Master

enchilado's Avatar
Of course it’s going to fucking bite you if you try to pick it up. Sheesh.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 01:00 AM by enchilado

Nate's Avatar
Why on earth would you even think about picking up a spider with your hand? Even drunken confidence doesn't explain it.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 01:30 AM by Nate

STM's Avatar
Since when did the UK and Ireland have bitey spiders? Fuck all spiders except tarantulas and money spiders.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 01:30 AM by STM

Phylum's Avatar
European spiders are shit. Come to Australia. We have real spiders. Spiders men aren't afraid to be scared of.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 02:10 AM by Phylum

DarkHoodness's Avatar
@STM: False Widows can, and really hurt apparently. I talked about them last time spiders were mentioned. Stay clear of them, they look like this.

(Although why would you grab a spider with your hand, Dix? No wonder it bit you.)
Posted 11-14-2011 at 05:52 AM by DarkHoodness
Updated 11-14-2011 at 06:02 AM by DarkHoodness

STM's Avatar
eww that's scary.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 06:12 AM by STM

T-nex's Avatar
I would just hate is a spider crawled in my ear.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 06:26 AM by T-nex

STM's Avatar
They'd lay eggs in your brain!
Posted 11-14-2011 at 06:50 AM by STM

MA's Avatar
spiders are fucking cute.

dick.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 08:49 AM by MA

MeechMunchie's Avatar
You're fucking cute.

Dick.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 08:50 AM by MeechMunchie

MA's Avatar
fuck you.

my name isn't Dick.

and i thought we had something special.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 08:53 AM by MA

T-nex's Avatar
Spiders ARE cute. That much is true =)
Posted 11-14-2011 at 10:51 AM by T-nex

MeechMunchie's Avatar
fucking You'r Dick.

cute.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 12:00 PM by MeechMunchie

Ridg3's Avatar
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...g-Britain.html

Enjoy, Anthony. Let the paranoia commence.

Without context that wouldn't make sense; Dix is currently laying in bed sick, either because of a hangover or because he was bit by Australia's native murderers.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 12:38 PM by Ridg3

mr.odd's Avatar
@MM and MA: Awww,you two are like an old married couple. cute... dick
Posted 11-14-2011 at 05:14 PM by mr.odd

Dixanadu's Avatar
Seriously Ridg3, curiousity mutilated the cat.

I'm not sure what was going through my head. Even thinking about it makes me sick. I guess I wanted to understand the beast. Maybe it should have assumed I wanted to shake hands with it.

Fuck 'em.
Posted 11-14-2011 at 06:28 PM by Dixanadu

T-nex's Avatar
Dick. In your butt.


No but actually... what helped me get over the little apprehension I had toward spiders, was to watch documentaries about them. I started seeing them more like normal insects with their unique traits, rather than evil, black, icky creatures with icky legs and web.
Spiders are cool. But their web sucks.

I once had a nightmare where I was in a maze med entirely out of thick spider-web walls... And there were these evil lizard men after me with web all over the faces. And I remember at the en my own face covered by thick layers of web and it felt really horrifying.
Posted 11-15-2011 at 12:11 AM by T-nex

enchilado's Avatar
Spiders aren’t insects.
Posted 11-15-2011 at 01:19 AM by enchilado

 

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