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Weird hangup about names

Posted 07-23-2011 at 11:49 PM by T-nex
Ok... So I have this weird hangup, and for some reason i feel like sharing. Perhaps someone has the same troubles. I dunno

I have many hang ups really. Such as not being able to look people in the eyes for long, or not picking up phones, or wanting to call people.

But there's another one, which i haven't quite learned to tame yet x_x

I can't call certain people by their name. It happens a bit often, but certain people, I just cant use the names of.
For example, I dont think I have ever said Chris's moms name out loud before. I never referred to her by her name. I actively avoid it. I dunno why. it just feels awkward to use her name. This actually happens with quite a few a few people. I even had trouble saying Chris's name at a period. Like calling him by his name if he was in another room. I couldn't. But at least I could mention his name to others I cant do that with his mom at all.
Dunno... it just feels so damn.... awkward. And the more time passes by, the more awkward it becomes ._. I just hope i never have to call her out loud at some point. I'll be a wreck.
Anyway after 4 years you'd think I'd gotten over it, but no.

There are plenty other people I can't use the name of. sigh x_x What the hell is wrong with me.
Is this normal? weird? both?
Total Comments 19

Comments

Mr. Bungle's Avatar
It's pretty weird, but I know exactly what you're talking about. I often avoid calling people by their name (except for my parents), and will go far out of the way to do so. I will often refer to them as "dude", "man", or simply look in their direction and start talking to them. It usually feels simply awkward to acknowledge them by their real name.

I also have difficulty answering/calling people with the telephone, as well as keeping eye contact. The latter I've learned to handle quite well, but I still feel strange keeping eye contact with someone for longer periods of time. I will also occansionally zone out and just keep staring... it's kind of embaressing.

I think it ties somewhat into social anxiety, but I could be wrong.
Posted 07-24-2011 at 02:01 AM by Mr. Bungle

Wil's Avatar
I have the same problem, but I try to ignore my anxiety. I also feel weird calling my own mum and dad 'Mum' and 'Dad', respectively. I don't know when this kicked in, because I know it wasn't always an issue.
Posted 07-24-2011 at 02:39 AM by Wil

Ridg3's Avatar
I feel as though if I'm saying someones name, I'm challenging them somehow. That's why I use hey, oi, hey you or some other variant.

It doesn't happen all the time though, there's times that I could say the persons name and then feel awkward at a later point. But yeah, I know how you feel.
Posted 07-24-2011 at 06:18 AM by Ridg3

T-nex's Avatar
For me, this problem is less prominent which people I've known since I was a child. Perhaps it's a problem that came with my developing social anxiety.
But I dunno... I suppose it's sort of.... relieving that I'm not alone in this problem Not that I wish it on any of you. But at least I know im not a total freak XD.
Posted 07-24-2011 at 06:50 AM by T-nex

JennyGenesis's Avatar
I remember beign out with friends once and one of them says "Hey Jennifer!" and I turn to him and say "What?"

Turns out he was talking to a girl he knew...
Posted 07-24-2011 at 07:58 AM by JennyGenesis

Sekto Springs's Avatar
Does it have anything to do with that my mom's name is the same as your sister's?
Posted 07-24-2011 at 09:32 AM by Sekto Springs

STM's Avatar
It might be a form of social phobia. Is it all names? If so what about made up names and fictional names? Like names in books. Oh and is it just people names? Or place names as well?

I think I have had the problem before, but it was this girl I had a thing for, I would try to work up the courage to say hi which generally involved getting her attention so saying her name, but instead I'd just be like..."buh, errr guhhhhh, ehem!"

http://www.psychforums.com/social-ph...c52928-10.html
Posted 07-24-2011 at 10:28 AM by STM

Dixanadu's Avatar
I often avoid using the names of my friend's parents. I simply address them with 'Hey!' or wait til they speak to me.
Posted 07-24-2011 at 05:00 PM by Dixanadu

Nate's Avatar
I often avoid using names unless I know someone well. But that's mainly because I've probably forgotten their name.
Posted 07-24-2011 at 11:30 PM by Nate

Disgruntled Intern's Avatar
I can't really relate to the name bit, but the eye contact thing I get. I think half of it boils down to my anxiety, and the other half is due to the fact that for the last ten years or so [or since I've gotten to my current height/build] I've had numerous people tell me that I'm 'intimidating', and that even during normal conversation I can seem 'scary' when maintaining eye contact.

I asked Dorian about it, and she says she thinks it's because I have such a 'straight face' [in that I don't really smile] and because of the color of my eyes and shape of my eyebrows, I look sort of, shit, I think she called it menacing. I don't know. It makes me feel like shit, though. I mean I essentially get to choose between maintaining eye contact and making most people uncomfortable because of the way I naturally look, or breaking eye contact every couple of minutes, which in my personal opinion gives the impression of being a dishonest shifty-eyed creep.

Ugh.

Also, fuck phones. Even when Dorian and I were dating and I knew in my wee little heart that I was in love with her, we didn't call each other. I think the only times we've talked on the phone have been when one of us have been out of state, and those conversations have been short. Like under ten minutes short. Because we both hate talking on the phone.
Posted 07-25-2011 at 09:32 AM by Disgruntled Intern

Ridg3's Avatar
I hate phones as well, not so much texting but more of the speaking I can't abide. It might be because I hate my voice or it could be that whenever I'm on the phone it's always quick to the point on arranging things and I really don't like having friendly banter over it.
Posted 07-25-2011 at 10:59 AM by Ridg3

Wil's Avatar
Eyebrow shape I can comprehend, but what on earth constitutes a menacing eye colour? Only thing I can think of would be glowing red.

I remember when a certain current moderator called me intimidating. *grumble*
Posted 07-25-2011 at 11:20 AM by Wil

Manco's Avatar
:
I often avoid using names unless I know someone well. But that's mainly because I've probably forgotten their name.
I'm terrible at remembering names also.
Posted 07-25-2011 at 11:54 AM by Manco

Disgruntled Intern's Avatar
:
Eyebrow shape I can comprehend, but what on earth constitutes a menacing eye colour?
I've actually asked this question myself. Dorian says that because in the sun/well lit areas my eyes are such a pale blue and I have this weird gold/yellowish ring around my pupils that they look sort of animal-like. I don't know.
Posted 07-25-2011 at 11:57 AM by Disgruntled Intern

Sekto Springs's Avatar
People with lighter iris colors tend to look more menacing and manic because the pupil stands out more. I had a bus driver who's irises were almost white, and he looked like some kind of demonic cartoon character.
Posted 07-25-2011 at 01:24 PM by Sekto Springs

Jordan's Avatar
I think I have this but not too an extreme. I feel pretty awkward when having to say someone's name.
Posted 07-25-2011 at 04:59 PM by Jordan

T-nex's Avatar
Ugh... phones... I have an important thing to discuss with my dad... but Ive been putting off calling him for over a week now....
I just dread phoning people. I bet hes quite disappointed already x_x
Posted 07-25-2011 at 08:00 PM by T-nex

Crashpunk's Avatar
I don't like calling people as well. Texting is easier and takes less effort.

Do you find it weird when people say your name? I dunno why but its weird hearing my name :/
Posted 07-28-2011 at 09:53 AM by Crashpunk

T-nex's Avatar
I dont find it weird when people say my name. But for some reason I get surprised rather... In a sort of "They really wanted to say my name?" kinda way....
Posted 07-28-2011 at 11:13 AM by T-nex

 

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