Worse Than I Imagined

Following the advice of my ex and a good friend, I decided to get checked for STD's today since I have had unprotected sex in the past. My friend took me down for moral support. He told me exactly what would happen in there and as soon as he mentioned needles I knew I couldn't go on my own as I have a phobia of them.

I swear the clinic knew that I was comming today. I went into reception, gave my details, and the receptionist gave me a piece of paper. There were 5 boxes on the paper and each had a small description and you have to tell the receptionist which description fits you best. Well the clinic knew I was comming because the description that matched me best was number 3 which was

"I have no symptoms of any STD's and I have not had sexual contact abroad except with my traveling partner"

If somebody could tell me how on earth they seemed to know of the existance of my boyfriend and the situation I would love to know.

The waiting was fun, there was a TV and me and a friend had a lot of fun trying to answer questions on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Some of you may be aware that my real name is Stephen but some people like to take the piss and say Stefan.

I was sat in the waiting room when a nurse came along and said "Stefan please" I nearly got totally pissed off and wanted to tell her that it is Stephen, then suddenly this man sat in the room got up and walked to her, much to my relief.

I was pleased when another nurse came out and said "Stephen please" HURRAY SHE SAID MY NAME RIGHT!

When we were sat in the waiting room my friend said to me "Now as you know I've done this before, your cock will sting a bit when its done"

I didn't believe him and thought that he was just trying to tease me.

So I went in a room with this very young blonde girl who was very friendly. I answered the sort of questions you would expect to get.

One of the questions was "Have all of your sexual partners originated from the UK?"

I replied with "Yes apart from my current partner now"

She said "Ok, where is he from? I have to ask in case he comes from a country where Blood HIV is high"

I said to her "Well he's from Slovenia, I don't know what things are like over there"

She said "I don't either, well he's foreign, so I'll just put yes" ....................

She took a swab at the back of my throat, no problem, and then asked me to strip down and lie on the bed. I was lieing there waiting for her to come in and whilst doing so, we had a lovely conversation about my boyfriend being away and our lovely day at the beach.

She came in and asked me to roll onto my side so she could take a swab of my anus, all done, no problem.

Then I had to lie on my back again and she told me she was going to take a swab of my penis. She explained what she was going to do and said "Now I will warn you it will be a little uncomfortable". She put the swab inside and I felt nothing, when she pulled it back out

FUCKING HELL IT WAS PAINFUL!!!!!!!!

I said, "Bloody hell uncomfortable is an understatement," she chuckled and then she told me that the blood test was next.

This is when I was truely cacking my pants. I explained to her about my problems with needles and she was very supportive, she gave me a cup of water and said "If any time you feel like your going to pass out tell me and I will stop right away" this made me even more scared!

So I was looking away, I felt her rub an alcohol wipe into my skin then suddenly OUCH!!!!!

The needle was going in and there I was shaking with my eyes closed breathing heavily and taking small sips of water Yeah I'm a wuss

I felt a lot of pain and my hand beyond my control closed up so it looked like I was about to punch something, "Open your hand" she said and there I am the nervous wreck struggling to open my hand again, I was still feeling this pain when suddenly she said "All Done".

I looked at my arm in confusion to find that it was all over even though I didn't feel her pull the needle out.

"That was even worse than I imagined, it's for my own good though" I said to her, she asked me if I was alright and I replied with "Well I'm comming back round"

She said that the test is all over now but advised that I stay in the waiting room for 5 minutes in case I pass out. So I followed her advice, went back into the waiting room

My friend asked me "All Right?" and I explained about the blood test and how I was advised to wait around 5 minutes, he chuckled and even though I felt a little funny I felt that I was in the condition to leave.

So whats the first thing I do? Manage to walk into the exit door....................... Yes I was in the condition to leave................

Then walking down the street I still felt this pain in my penis and my friend was laughing at me as I was walking a little funny to try and avoid this pain.

In all of this my friend offered a cigarette and I did take one and smoked it to distract and calm myself down from this pain.....................

Eventually I needed the toilet, and I knew that if I tried to pee that it would hurt badly, my friend said "Ahh don't worry, I've gone to the toilet not long after and it doesn't hurt"

Stupidly I followed his advice and went into a toilet, suddenly I screached "AHHHHHHH FUCK!!!!!" and I immedatly stopped urinating and walked back out and said to my friend "Fuck it, I'm goona hold on, I can't do it"

So I had to walk from this public toilet, to the city center, to the bank, then I seen my ex girlfriend so we had a good chat all whilst I'm bursting for a pee at the same time.

Still I resisted going to the toilet and me and my friend got on the bus home, the particular stop we got off at is right outside a public toilet. I couldn't hold on any longer and I just went in, there was a little pain, but it was tolerable and nowhere near as bad as it was in the other toilet.

So an STD test is a lot worse than people made out to be and a lot worse than I imagined, for my own good though and I doubt it will ever be my last one either so I am really looking forward to the next one after my experience today.