Making friends?

Making solid friends is always a good feeling. Good on you for not only weeding out the shit friends, but spotting the good ones and being willing to nurture the friendships as long as they're willing to do the same.

I'm a horrible friend. I've got a handful of really close friends that I've had for going on ten years now, but I fail miserably at making new ones. People often show an interest at being my friend, or spending time with me, but I'm just so bad at maintaining/nurturing friendships. More often than not people end up boring/annoying me, or I just forget about them entirely.

Good for you, Nexy, I'm glad to hear it.

It's always been the switching of school/school-to-uni/BA-to-MA bit that proves to be the test of friendships. I always have a group of people who are fun to be with, but when these switches happen, somehow these connections are lost (except a very low number of cases). I rarely get a message from them - it happened a couple of days ago when I received one from someone I used to be on good terms with, but it was only a question on the BA final examinations, which I already had but she didn't. None of the "How're you doing?" sort of stuff. I guess I'm more of a mentor or a friendly colleague to most people, rather than a friend. That's cool in itself, I like to help people out, but still...

Friends are over-rated in my opinion. I mean, I know a lot of people and I get on with them but I would hardly call any, save a few, friends. And as the years go by you find out that that nice person you were friends with eight years ago turns out to be an arrogant, self absorbed, needy, attention seeking asshole.

But seriously, good for you. Friends are important to some people and making friends is a great confidence booster to everyone which will make you make you more sociable and snaring more acquaintances as the days go by.

I'm an anti-social git who keeps as little as contact with everyone as possible because I have more important things to do than tend to relationships.

I'm similar to Ridg3. I just have a hard time finding people I relate to well; share a lot of interests with, and don't annoy the piss out of me. Many of my friends do the latter, which can be infuriating.

Nice job, Nexy

I managed to make 3 new friends at the pub tonight. It is great to make new friends.

it's one of the better experiences in life

I have a handful of really good friends, and then some others. Next year might suck, since most all of them will be away. If I know the person is a really good friend, then I know I can call them up or whatever, but if not, I'm pretty bad at maintaining relationships. I have this paranoia that people just forget about me and if I try to call them or whatever they will wonder who the hell I am. I also have a problem of people I dont like clinging to me. I give everyone a chance, even if other people say they are a douche, weird, or anything. This leads to after our first meeting, me usually hating them and them thinking they made a new best friend.

How can I make this blog about me?

Oh, yeah.

I'M SAD!

Wow. Everyone on the forums bent over backwards to make sure you didn't kill yourself. You could come back and do this shit. For weeks.

Hindsight.

Thanks everybody except Oanst

It really means a lot to me. I feel warm welcomed.
Also DI(did you mean 'not' do this stuff in your previous post?) ... I think as long as you have that handfull of friends, it doesn't matter much if you make new ones or not. Just as long as you get your fill of bonding and socializing to fill your spirit we are all different and have different need of friends.


Ridg3/Bungle
I think that saying that friends are overrated is a bit wrong. While having a lot of friends is overrated... I think only very few people can go a lifetime without friends and not eventually feel lonely and abandoned.
I mean consider this.... What you don't have in physical friends, you most likely seek out online. But if the internet didn't exist, you'd be screwed...
But yea... I do have 2 friends still from my childhood. But they both live in far off cities, and I only rarely see them. They aren't really online people either.

Daxter
I tend to get paranoid too... This is why Im so happy that these friends in the making aren't high maintenance people. Meaning they actually come to me too by themselves. This allows me to have a calmed spirit and actually believe I did something that made them like me and that it's not just me clinging around for someone who isn't even half interested. It's a painful experience, specially because my social paranoia makes it so much worse.


Jenny
Are you sure you didn't mean to say that you made 3 new drinking buddies?

I like reading blogs like this rather than people whining (myself included) about how much their life sucks. It makes me feel better.

Thanks for this.

Im glad if I could put a smile on your face It makes me feel good.

I agree. Sad blogs are pointless to me since I beat that meme to death.

And I got tired of drawing them x_x

Aw.

That's what I meant... I think. At least that's what I meant to mean, as I said, I have a few close friends and it's pretty hard to get into my close circle of friends but it's extremely easy to fall out of it. Having friends is good, even really nice but, as you mentioned, they are over-rated in the sense that having a lot of them is stupid and time-consuming (if you're the type of person who tends to relationships.)

Also, this blog isn't sad.

That's awesome to hear. Congrats on your making of friends! I've always struggled to make friends, but because of sixth form I've been given a chance to talk to other people. Not exactly create friendships... but I do talk to a lot more people than I used to. I think it's great to hear stories like this when people who usually have a difficult time getting to know people and they have made some friends.

A belated congratulations Nexy! =D

Having good friends is awesome and having a wide spectrum of friends is even awesomer so lucky you!

I'm still occassionally surprised when I realise that someone actually wants to be friends with me. I had such terrible social skills right up until my early 20s and sometimes forget how far I've come sinc ethen. Which is not to say that I'm socially perfectly adjusted now; just better than it was. I just thank my lucky stars that I happened to be in the right place at the right time to meet my current circle of friends in a lecture at uni.


On the other hand I've met a few people in the last few years that I like enough to try to become friends with, only to eventually give up. I can't stand one-sided relationships, in which the only time we chat or meet up for a coffee is because I initiated it. I just figure that the other person clearly doesn't value our friendship as much as I do, so why should I bother? So I just focus on the friends I do have and forget about those who aren't worth it.

Pretty much every friend I've had has been based on me projecting some kind of version of me which is biased towards their intrests. I just sort of stress the elements of me they have themselves and downplay the less popular parts - I'm talking about Keane and WH40k here.

Therefore it was a source of great happiness for me when a couple of weeks ago a girl started liking me for being me. I didn't know she was paying attention to anything I do so I didn't have a chance to 'put my mask on'.

So yeah, I get you Nexy.

And she hugs me! There is not one person, even my friends and family, who likes to hug me.

That said, our relationship does seem to be largely based on doing The Robot.

Aww, MeechMunchie's first hug.

I never said that.

It was meant as a joke to the effect that, yeah, I've been whiny. Pretty obviously, too.

Oh, I got it the first time around. So now because you're making fun of yourself it's funny. Let's all laugh about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Do you think that maybe it's an improvement that I can laugh about it?

No, not really. You almost ruined your daughters life, and you put the people here, people who care about you, through shit. So when you're making jokes about your attempted suicide [which you have], or your general mopiness, I think it's a shit thing to do. Well, not shit, but inappropriate as hell.

And even if you can laugh about it, making these odd comments and putting other people in the position, okay, fuck that, putting me in the position of having to decide whether to laugh along with you or not, is shitty. I guess you laughing about it is better than pretending nothing ever happened, and laughing is definitely better than crying, but doing it here doesn't really seem like a good fit.

Then again, I don't know where else you would do it. I don't know. The way you've been posting since you've come back has just been irking the shit out of me.

I'm trying to come to terms with it as best I can. It's difficult for me to not mention it for a few different reasons. Losing April still occupies most of my waking thoughts. Now, I literally no longer have any friends, and my family and I no longer speak. Maybe it isn't appropriate for me to discuss it here, but I have no other outlet, and trust me, I have not been laying out all of my shit here. Some of you may remember that I disappeared for about a month recently. It was an interesting month. I also haven't mentioned that I got into an accident a week ago, and totalled my car. I have been making an attempt to not be too much of a bummer.

It's hard though. My feelings generally fluctuate between bitterness and self loathing. I've been made to feel that I was worthless for most of my life, and then I found something that made me feel like I had worth. I had a family. I had a woman that I loved, and a child who was my everything. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't make that woman happy. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I worked, or how stressful of a situation I entered into so that I could provide for my family, I still came home every day to indifference, anger, or accusations. And because I am weak I let my childhood, and my feelings of inadequacy dominate who I became. And I became a real fucking prick. I deserved to lose them. Because I made it all come true. I proved that I was worthless. But I promised myself almost three years ago that I would do better, that I would be the husband I should always have been, and I tried so hard to make it right. It was too late, though. And I lost everything.

I will never have back what I lost. I will never again have the special relationship that I had with my child. I will not be able to help her with her homework when I get home from work. And I will never be able to forget that the woman I love stayed with me for years because it was convenient, and that I mean less than nothing to her.

That night, when she came on here and said that I will never know how much she still cares for me, she gave me her reason for wanting me to live while I was on the phone with her. She told me that she needed the child support. I didn't know how to live with that. I love her so much, and she wants the child support.

I'm sorry that I'm irritating. But I've lost the only thing that ever made me feel like I had worth.

Guys this isn't fair on Nexy, if you want to continue this, do it in a PM because I don't know about everyone else but this seems awkward.

Chin up OANST we all love ya here.

I can make it really awkward. The biggest, and most damaging to our relationship argument that we ever had was when April accused me of having some sort of affair with T-Nex.

the fuck