Chronophobia

I think I have it. I can't help but feel I am wasting my life away if I don't get out right now and start doing stuff. What kind of stuff? I don't even know, my mind just tells me to get out there and do fun stuff. It tells me I am wasting my youth if I do not do something. Every now and then I will have a rational thought about how much more free time I have while remaining youthful, but that goes away in seconds, as I then think about it more.

I think my last blog stems from this. I imagine community college as some extension of high school, without most of my friends. Which I know at least the latter of is true. I loathe the idea of living with my parents for another year, for reasons I'd rather not get into. But at the same time the thought of the massive debt I would accumulate by going straight into a university frightens me greatly. But then the chronophobia kicks in and the two fight each other until I just choose to ignore them both. Then I think of the time just wasted and how stupid I am for wasting so much of it not committing to a decision. At times I know I am probably expecting too much of the college experience, but then I think of the possibility. There it would actually have the chance of being a better situation, however slim, I can't really see a massive change in situation still living here, since nothing would really change. And its that chance I want the most I think. But then debt.

Just dumping my thoughts on some stuff.