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BLOG VERSION ONE: THE INTERESTING ONE

I went to Melbourne for the first time the other day. I also met a forty-four year old cousin and drove some four or five hundred kilometres of the journey back, which was pretty much my first driving on actual roads. I also found out that Dove chocolate is made in China - fuck that shit.

BLOG VERSION TWO: THE LONG BORING ONE I WROTE BECAUSE I WAS BORED

My father had been looking for a 4WD for some time, and finally found a nice-looking second-hand one located in Melbourne. I'd never been to Victoria before, and so I readily agreed when Dad offered to take me down with him.

We left a couple of days later at five in the morning, arriving in good time to catch our eight o'clock flight. Dad had booked us good seats, but just before boarding we were informed that we'd been relocated - to the seats in line with the wings, no bloody less. So we had a shit view, but still got some nice glimpses of the Murray River and the Melbourne suburbs (God! So many little houses!).

We then caught a bus to what should really be called Melbourne Central, but for some dumb fucking reason is called one of either two interchangeable names that I've thankfully forgotten. Damn confusing. Anyway, we caught a train out to Geelong. As we were waiting for the owner of the vehicle to arrive it started to rain, heavily. The vehicle's owner approached us out of this torrent and I discovered that he was, in fact, Norwegian. After the rain had stopped we went to the vehicle and saw that it was okay, but pretty good for it's price (around $6,000). The Norwegian (whose name was Tor) showed us which way to go while Dad drove. We thought we were taking him back to the place he was staying, but about twenty minutes out of town we found out that he was being picked up from the train station by a friend. We drove back.

Anyway, we bought the vehicle, and then drove to the small flat of my cousin, who is forty-four. I got stuck in the toilet. We forgot to give her the bar of Lindt Sea Salt chocolate we bought for her. It was tasty.

We left early the next day, and were surprised at how far out of town the motorway went. We drove and drove and drove and drove. It was a long drive. We drove some more.

And that was my rather spontaneous Melbourne adventure. The idea was exciting but the actuality was boring. I did get about five hours in on the 100 I have to do to get my Provisional license, though, so that was pretty okay.