Was Jesus the first modern pirate?

So it's been on my mind for quite some time and I've never seen anyone use this argument, but Jesus was definitely the first pirate, and the Bible does condone piracy.

One of the miracles Jesus did was copying five loaves of bread and two fish to feed 5000 people because neither he nor his disciples could afford such a large amount of food. Doing that, he did not steal anything from a baker nor fisherman, but inevitably, he caused severe harm to the baking and fishing industries. It could be argued that those people didn't have the money to buy that fish and bread anyway so no-one lost out, or perhaps some people have taken a liking to fish that day and started buying their own, who knows.

Anyway, it's the perfect analogy. It has no weak points because that's what Jesus did; he shamelessly pirated the fish. Politicians should chill and stop accepting big fat checks from RIAA because we're just following the actions of Jesus Christ.