The decision of a lifetime (not really)

You really can't take your mother in to account when you make this decision. You're going to have to move out one day and she's going to hate it whenever it happens, so you may as well do it now.

My mum tried to guilttrip me when I moved out at the beginning of this year, saying "Why don't you wait six or twelve months and save up a bit more cash?" I just couldn't deal with the thought of still living at home by the time my 28th birthday came around.

I second this. I live 40 miles away from my mom and it's not far enough. We get along famously, but jesus, talk about smothering.

Dude, go for the nightlife.

Oh btw.... REBOOT!!! ^^

Sounds pretty good to me, and I see what you mean about moving from your mom. Maybe Pilot and Nate are right, maybe not. Nate's arguments are pretty convincing, go with it.

Don't leave the utility agreements in the air. I've heard many, many stories of friendships shattering over this.

You could buy your mum a tortoise for company.

Have any/all agreements in writing.

I don't worry about my friend jilting me on this, he's not the type to, but I'll make sure that everything from rent to rooms are properly figured out before I dive in. The location is absolutely stupendous, though: It's on a bus route, but not a major street, the previously mentioned amenities (Uncluding a previously unmentioned Head Shop and a used clothing store, 10$ jeans) are suitably awesome, and the place apparently just went through renovations, or we're the second tenants to be in it post-reno. Comes with a new gas furnace and "4 appliances" which I thought was hilarious due to vagueness. Hopefully Laundry Machine and Drier are two of them. I'm not sure we even need a fridge, my friend has so much shit leftover from his last apartment. Apparently it's mostly wood floors.

I'm not positive on this, either, but it might be that I simply have to pay 450$ a month through my friend, with him or something else covering utilities somehow. I'll make sure.

I would do it. I know how you might feel about leaving your mom behind. I get anxious just living 45 minutes away, but that's only because she's ill and getting old and isn't able to take care of the house all by herself, so I help when I can. But you're lucky enough to have a warm introduction into the world of living away from home (not saying you haven't before; this blog just makes it sound like it would be the biggest leap of your life so far). Do what you think would be best though.

It's possible I just need a vacation away from her. I really wanted to go camping either on my own or with some friends this Summer, and that never happened.

The biggest problem with my Mom is that after my dad left in Frebruary, she had no way of taking out a lot of the frustration and stress he was still causing her. My dad will send her these horrible Emails, full of name calling and just generally being extremely childish, and she always reads them, because he still includes important shit she needs to know about. He stole 2000$ from her tax return by basically skulking into our house and taking some documents from her. That was money he wasn't entitled to. We're in debt because of him, and he refuses to work like an adult and runs this disgusting little Coffee Van that he makes fucking NOTHING off of. Like, barely enough to get by.
So what will happen is she won't deal with these problems like an adult, but just mashes them down inside and gets gradually grumpier and grumpier, and eventually she just starts treating me like shit for days at a time, constantly being absolutely impossible to deal with until she calms down and apologizes. This has been happening once or twice a month since Dad left, and at first I assumed that it would end by the time Summer rolled around, but nope, she's still doing it, and for more and more bullshit unfair reasons.

On the other hand, we have a big 'ol house, my dog is more or less at Death's door, her best friend chose to live in a city 4 hours away again this year, and there's a lot of work to be done on the house. Lots of painting and flooring and shit, which needs to be completed before she can sell it. If my dad wasn't such a disgusting fucker, we'd have it DONE. But he stole and whined and is such a fucking pain in the ass, my god, that we're still here.

Now, this apartment is, as previously mentioned, in Kingston. Kingston is 45 minutes away from where we live by car, plenty of bus and train services run through it and it's a big step up in location, without being a stagnant monolith of urban sprawl like Toronto or London. Goddamn London.

So I'd be close enough to make a trip into Belleville easy, but far enough to have a healthy change of pace without any overbearing family shit.

Oh god yeah this sounds like a great idea. I, too would do this, like you said, you get the best of both worlds you can visit your mum whenever you have time, and you get to have a little "holiday from the same". It's a great step for you, well done.

Alrighty, so I've found out a few things:

I only have to pay 450$ a month, that's it. My friend (at this point onward 'Sam') is covering the utilities on top of his rent, because he plans on using almost all of the extra space (did I mention that this is a 3 bedroom apartment with a two-car garage?) to store his stuff, and since nothing I own would ever actually have to leave my room barring a coffee maker and food, we're pretty much set.

I still need to consider all of the other financial responsibilities, though, specirfically groceries. I can live without having Cable or Satellite, but I'll need an internet connection. Phone is not an issue as I'll just use my cellphone, and he his. I still need to have a rather serious talk about this with my mom, so we're still a-ways away.

Living with a friend is a fantastic way to ruin a friendship. Little things that seem easy or squared away now (like his storage space and your lack of crap) will soon become problematic. Trust me on this. I'm all in favor of you getting out on your own, but I'd suggest living with strangers or on your own before you live with sam or whoever the fuck.

True enough. Though, out of all of my friends (with the exception of Jordan) Sam is the one who I'm the most okay with moving in with, partly because we've only really been friends since May, and partly because he's laid back as hell, which isn't necessarily completely a good thing.
Of course, my sister moved in with one of her best friends from University and their friendship is now more or less non-existent (though he is kind of a stupid whiny bitch piece of shit who ruined it by letting his pathetic boyfriend move in. Hate those guys. Fuck). There are possible issues living with Sam that I can picture even now, but I'm still thinking about this. I mean, for all of my puttering on about how great the apartment is and blah blah blah, I still haven't had a serious talk about it with my Mother.

I moved in with two of my friends last september and we're bros for life.

So yeah.

My mates has a house with a room still open for people to rent and they said I can take it but it depends on someone else on whether or not he's going back to University... he isn't going back to Uni so that room is now his, well, it was.

One night we all went out drinking and one of the people who lived in the house started a fight with some guy over something incredibly stupid, this led to my mate threatening him to kick him out of the house if he carries on with that bullshit... so he left (came back later though.)

This was the moment me and Owen (person who had secured the room) was expecting, we were expecting the remaining member of the house to start blowing his trombone even though he wasn't there nor had it anything to do with him... well, he got into a really bad, foul ass mood and started roaring at people kicking and punching shit and smoking my fags. He tired himself out and passed out so me, Owen and two other friends (Who don't live there) bought pizza and ended the night with Jack Johnson playing in the background and he told me he wasn't going to move in after that carry on, because this wasn't the first time shit like this happened.

So, the room is now technically mine but I don't want it.

Can i have it?

Don't rush into anything, but do what you want to do, too. You only get to be a young fuck up for so long. After that you're just an old fuck up, and it's no longer cute.

I'm thinking if we can secure a third roommate (seems like that's where Sam is going anyway) I should be golden. We're going to have a a discussion about it tonight.