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Not Having Another Baby!

Posted 02-28-2009 at 06:51 AM by OANST
We thought we might be pregnant. We were wrong. We are relieved.



In other news, we are planning to marry next month. So far, the preperations have been a pain in the ass. We can't find our birth certificates (can't get a marriage license without them) and I don't know what county I was born in. The vital records department won't tell me what county I was born in over the phone, so I am going to have to drive to all the different county clerks offices to find the one that has it.

Also, I can't seem to find anyone to officiate the marriage for less than 300 dollars, and this is about 200 dollars more than I am willing to pay someone for this. All I need is a fucking monkey, who can say "I now pronounce you man and wife". Unfortunately, It's hard to find a cheap one who won't want to talk about our union with god. I don't want want my marriage ceremony cheapened with talk of fictional creatures. I just fucking don't.
Total Comments 22

Comments

mitsur's Avatar
A Vegas marriage is out of the question?
Posted 02-28-2009 at 07:21 AM by mitsur

OANST's Avatar
I don't live even remotely in the vicinity of Vegas. That's a little out of my price range.
Posted 02-28-2009 at 07:26 AM by OANST

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
Get a friend ordained on the Internet. My younger brother has married me to more things than I care to remember.
Posted 02-28-2009 at 07:53 AM by Bullet Magnet

OANST's Avatar
The problem with that is I no longer have a group of friends. As we got older I sort of drifted away from them, what with me having a family and working 60 to 70 hours a week. I still have some contact with them, but we only really see each other once or twice a year. I would feel really weird calling someone up and saying "I know we haven't spoken in six months, but could you become an ordained minister and marry me?".

On the bright side, I just spoke to my step-dad and he has a copy of my birth certificate. So, that's easier.
Posted 02-28-2009 at 07:58 AM by OANST

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
If that's the weirdest thing you call your estranged friends for in your life you can count yourself lucky.
Posted 02-28-2009 at 09:16 AM by Bullet Magnet

Wil's Avatar
Marcus: Offering people reassurance that carries unsettling implications since 2006.

So this marriage preparation, did it begin with a proposal?
Posted 02-28-2009 at 10:46 AM by Wil

Hobo's Avatar
Good luck. OWF should have a marriage drive to raise money. As I suggested it I'm exempt from responsibility.
Posted 02-28-2009 at 10:48 AM by Hobo

OANST's Avatar
The proposal happened about 7 years ago.
Posted 02-28-2009 at 10:51 AM by OANST

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
I can see why it would be one of those things you'd put off. I mean, the gesture has already been made, and now you're just pandering to a small minded society. With tax benefits, I suppose.
Posted 02-28-2009 at 11:25 AM by Bullet Magnet

OddjobAbe's Avatar
Hell, you dodged a bullet there. I can't imagine looking after one child, never mind two!

And I think the wedding's why most men end up broke.
Posted 02-28-2009 at 11:35 AM by OddjobAbe

Nate's Avatar
How can you not know where you were born? I even know which hospital I was born in.

Is there not some form of cheaparse government, non-religious marriage celebrant (county clerk, judge, something like that) available in your neighbourhood?
Posted 02-28-2009 at 03:32 PM by Nate

Strike Witch's Avatar
Cairns Base Hospital for me.

Fuck, I really can remember it.
Posted 03-01-2009 at 01:32 AM by Strike Witch

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
:
Is there not some form of cheaparse government, non-religious marriage celebrant (county clerk, judge, something like that) available in your neighbourhood?
This is America we're talking about.
Posted 03-01-2009 at 03:35 AM by Bullet Magnet

shaman's Avatar
Southmead hospital!


i was the lightest baby there.

now i'm fat
Posted 03-01-2009 at 04:36 AM by shaman

Hobo's Avatar
Redhill Hospital.

Got knocked down though.
Posted 03-01-2009 at 05:59 AM by Hobo

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
Pembury. First and only time I was early for something.
Posted 03-01-2009 at 06:18 AM by Bullet Magnet

Wil's Avatar
Norfolk and Norwich Hospital. The one that got knocked down and replaced with another one that I went on to work at. But not on the birthing wards.
Posted 03-01-2009 at 08:22 AM by Wil

Wings of Fire's Avatar
I was never born of woman. I could kill Macbeth.

I was however taken out in an operating theater inside Staffordshire Hospital, where they forgot to give my mum anesthetic beforehand.

Yes, you read that correctly.
Posted 03-01-2009 at 12:43 PM by Wings of Fire

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Jesus Christ
Posted 03-01-2009 at 02:10 PM by Mac Sirloin

Nate's Avatar
:
This is America we're talking about.
Especially in America. I've never heard of anyone outside of the USA getting married in a town hall.

Box Hill Hospital for me. In the morningtime; my dad was stuck in traffic and didn't get there until I had already popped out.
Posted 03-01-2009 at 02:33 PM by Nate

skillyaslig's Avatar
Getting married? That's sweet...
Hmm, the preachers! i have no idea why the bring God into marriage. After all, that idiot isn't the one you are gonna marry.
Posted 03-01-2009 at 11:09 PM by skillyaslig

OANST's Avatar
We don't want to do it a court house. Otherwise, yes. That would be an option.
Posted 03-02-2009 at 05:59 AM by OANST

 

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