Time to spill.

I've skipped co-op for the last two days because my dad was out of town and mom goes to work early. I haven't been outside in over 48 hours, and I'm getting fatter and more acne is popping up by the second. I've spent a lot of the time coming up with an excuse as to why I didn't show up or call, and have decided that saying I had "Stomach Flu" is relatively believable. I tried using a shampoo that wasn't my Dandruff stuff to see what would happen, and my head is itchy, flakey, and generally repellent. My stomach actually hurts and I (honestly) smell like shit. All of my clothes are dirty and I didn't bother learning how to wash them because I couldn't get along with my dad when he offered. I was supposed to go to a going away party for my Sort-of-friend Ben who is returning to Australia after being here for a couple of years. I decided not to go because I'm very awkward around the family he stayed with (people I've known since I was a baby, the family of my mothers best friend). Every time I want to make a new video with Joseph he's either working on school, working at his job, or just can't. Whenever I try making something on my own I'm not satisfied with the end-result and don't bother editing or posting it. I'm not interested in looking at porn or reading To Kill A Mockingbird or playing any video games. My cat is afraid of me because I'm a sadistic asshole. It's 7:41 PM and I'm supposed to be doing the recycling and getting the garbage together but I'm just sitting here. I may not have them done before my mom gets back at 10:00. I feel alienated and in turn alienate. I have no patience for my friends or peers. I'm dissappointing my teacher, boss, and eventually my parents. I smell bad, have greasy, dandruffy hair, am missing a tooth that I can't hide, don't have a paying job, can't focus long enough to write a single chapter of the book idea I had, and have stolen thousands of dollars form my family. I didn't have more than two minutes of conversation with my grandmother at her birthday two weeks ago, got into a fight with my family on the way there, and was more or less horrible to my mother for the next day. My MP3 player is missing and my headphones broke. my room is a mess and I have nothing proper to sit in. I scratched the knuckles on my Left index and middle fingers with my right index fingers over a week ago and they're still a pair of ugly scabs. I'm tired of doing English work at school and don't know if I can get the Math credits to become an Engineer.

I guess I'm just kind of feeling listless.

I'm going to go eat an orange.
And then maybe watch the Iron Giant.
I like that movie.