Heh, thanks for the comments, guys. Remember, if you would like to be portrayed differently, or have any suggestions, post here or PM me them.
If I’ve already shown you, and you don't like how I do, I apologize profusely while crossing my fingers behind my back. I portrayed you as I did for comedic purposes, and in no way does in hold my actual view of you.
{Insert other protection crap here}
And now, the moment you most likely have not been waiting for, chapter 2!
Hobey-ho, let's go!
***
CHAPTER TWO: NOON
"You know, I think that snoring into a glass of milk isn't good for your intestines."
Mitsur looked up from his glass of milk, the liquid dripping down from his nose to his chin and onto the table. His eyes were scrunched up, and for a moment couldn't make out who was talking to him. Then his eyes adjusted.
"Hey Nemo."
"Hi."
"You don't like me very much for hijacking your topic, do you?"
"Nope."
"Eh."
"I think I should have let you drown in that stuff." There was a long, uncomfortable pause, until Mitsur spoke up again.
"You know, I wasn't really asleep in it."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I was actually trying to blow bubbles in it with my nose."
"Wow."
"I know."
Nemo nodded gravely in return, and turned. Then we walked away. Mitsur, a bit throw off-balance at this seemingly normal conversation, looked at his plate of food. The croissant was gone, and his milk had turned a nauseating shade of green.
He shrugged, and got up from the table, leaving the plate and glass of milk, where, an hour later, it would be cleaned up by Mac The Janitor, who, like always, would be swearing about his name and the responsibility he had been given for it.
Mitsur left the cafeteria, and almost collided with Abe16, who had some kind of turban on, with a huge, completely fake green emerald mounted into the cloth.
"I AM OZ THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE!" He yelled, flailing his arms out in a magnificent way.
Mitsur groaned, and smacked his head. "Why did you have to look at the I have just seen... topic, Abe? Why?"
Abe did not respond, but rather ran off, yelling out who he was in a mighty voice. Mitsur sighed, and then continued walking, wondering what had happened to the angry mob. Then he decided it would probably be best if he didn't know.
Gearing himself up for a tough day of posting, he headed for the office area of OWF. He walked down the hall, which, thanks to Alcar's strangely god-like powers, was infinitely long, each door having the name of an OWF member on it.
Heading down the hall, he squinted his eyes at the solid-gold door with the word ALCAR emblazoned on it. The damn huge amount of bling on it just about blinded him. The door swung open as he passed it, and Alcar poked his head out.
"Hey mitsur!"
"Wait, how did you know I was coming by?"
"Oh, you mean you haven’t found out yet? I've got these hidden cameras all over the place. I mean, they're so small, even the girls haven't noticed them in their showers ye..." Suddenly realizing he shouldn't say anymore, lest Mitsur force his way into the room to see for himself, or get enough information to tell, he changed the subject.
"So, uh, what's going on with you?"
"Actually, I've got a bunch of questions. Why can't I have a gold door? Where'd you get those cameras? Are the cameras only in the girl's showers? Are you secretly spying on men? And why is this hallway so damn long?"
Alcar blinked, and then thought for a moment. "Because I'm an admin and you're a spaz. At the black market. I'm not at liberty to say. Maybe. Because I want it to be like that." he answered in chronological order. Mitsur also blinked.
"'Kay."
"Seeya, Mits."
"Don't call me that."
"OK, Mits." Alcar slammed the door before Mitsur could lunge at him. Swearing, Mitsur headed to his door.
Finally coming to it, he gazed fondly at the metal plates with the cardboard sign with MITSUR written on it. He grasped the handle, and pulled. It was locked.
"Wha...?" Mitsur was cut off in mid-word as a dart shot out of the hole in the R from his sign. It struck him in the neck, and Mitsur was knocked out.
Briefly, before he passed out, he wondered what would had happened if he
hadn't been blowing bubbles with his nose earlier.
***
"Wakey-wakey, sleepy head!" A voice called out. Mitsur struggled to open his eyes. Finally, the dimly-lit room came into focus. He became aware he was tied to a chair with what appeared to be Trolli gummi worms.
Mitsur looked up. Right into the face of Nemo. And, standing behind him, looking flabbergasted was skillya_glowi, looking regretful. Mitsur had only one question.
"Was it because I cast you as Hobo's bitch?"
Nemo nodded, and Mitsur sighed.
"Do you always have to hang onto such petty feelings? You know, Hobo'll be pretty mad when he finds out you took it as an insult."
Nemo nodded again, and then seemed to realize he was supposed to be questioning Mitsur, not the other way around.
"I should've let you drown in that milk." he said.
"I told you I wasn't sleeping in it! I was seeing how good my nose could blow bubbles in it!" Mitsur said, faking being frustrated.
Behind the chair, he was reaching for the mouse that was, for some reason, always in his back pocket. Then he felt the wet spot, and realized he had crushed it when he was knocked out. That's when things became ugly.
Nemo produced a permanent marker.
"Now," he said crazily, "I'll make you look just like the jerk you are! Skillya, hold him."
Skillya, looking frightened but determined, positioned behind Mitsur and leaned over.
"Just hold still," Skillya whispered. "I've triggered the beacon; everyone will be here soon."
Mitsur gave a barely audible grunt, and Nemo kept coming, a look of greed and excitement on his face. He leaned down, and Mitsur shut his eyes, unable to watch his beautiful face be defiled by a grease-marker.
KA-BLAM! The door on the other side of the imploded, and Al The Vykker (still with nothing but a towel on), SeaRex, Arxryl, Rex Tirano, and Snuzi rushed into the room, each of them holding a rubber chicken. Snuzi had a boombox in his hand playing the A-Team theme song.
"DON'T MOVE, DIRTBAG!" Al yelled, one hand holding the towel, the other brandishing the rubber chicken. SeaRex rushed toward Mitsur as Nemo raised his hands, and leaned over. He gnawed through the Trolli gummi worms binding Mitsur's hands, and Rexy slapped Nemo with her chicken, producing a sqwaunk sound.
Skillya, by now, and started to gummi-worm Nemo's hands behind his back.
Mitsur stood, rubbed his hands, and stretched.
"Thanks for saving me, guys." he said.
Arxryl snorted.
"You thought we came to save you? We just didn't want Nemo to beat you up first." Then he advanced on Mitsur.
Shakily, Mitsur raised his hands in a karate-pose.
"Don't make me use my kung-fu powers on you guys. You've seen what I did to Old and Not So Tasty. I hit him twice before I started to cry from the pain in my hands."
Havoc suddenly rushed in.
"Did I miss the Mitsur-beating?" he asked breathlessly.
SeaRex said, "Nope, you got here just in time. My nipple still hurts; but I'm gonna give Mitsur two of what he gave me!"
Then Max the Mug ran in.
"All right, I'm not too late!" He said, and grabbed Rexy's rubber chicken.
Rexy bitch-slapped him in return.
Max clutched his face.
"Ow! What was that for!?"
"Nobody grabs my chicken without previous consent!"
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Hey!" Snuzi said. "You leave her alone. You should have brought your own rubber chicken to beat Mitsur up with!"
"Shut up, Arnold Schwarzenegger-wannabe! You made me exercise when I could be researching Oddworld stuff!" Max yelled back.
Snuzi took off his gloves.
"That's it! Bring it on, librarian-man!" he screamed, and lunged at him.
Max reached out calmly, fingers extended, and gave Snuzi a devastating double-eye poke in mid-air. Then he round-house kicked him in the stomach. Snuzi flew backwards and slammed into the wall, ten feet away. He was knocked out, once again.
"And that," Max said, "Is why someone should never underestimate an encyclopediast."
"Great idea!" Nemo said sarcastically. "Just one thing."
"What?" Al asked, confused.
"Mitsur's gone."
Everyone looked around, and, indeed, Mitsur was gone.
"AFTER HIM!" Arxryl yelled, and everyone took off after him.
***
That's it for ch. 2! Sorry if it didn't seem as funny as the last one, but don't worry, ch. 3 will be chock full of hilariousness.
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