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  #91  
09-11-2009, 12:20 PM
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I went to the petstore today, i bought budgies. Wanna know why?

Because they were going cheap...
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Last edited by shaman; 09-11-2009 at 12:23 PM..
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  #92  
09-11-2009, 12:44 PM
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What do you call it when a man's penis get's infected?

Pussy.
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  #93  
09-11-2009, 03:17 PM
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:
I went to the petstore today, i bought budgies. Wanna know why?

Because they were going cheap...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13eDfrMgFQM
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  #94  
09-11-2009, 03:21 PM
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  #95  
09-12-2009, 03:23 AM
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Blonde and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first?
The brunette. The blonde had to stop for directions.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don't cry, it was only a joke.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Granny.
Granny who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Granny.
Granny who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Granny.
Granny who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Granny.
Granny who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Granny.
Granny who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Aunt.
Aunt who?
Aunt you glad all those grannies are gone?

What's the difference between a man drinking coffee and a butcher?
One stays awake, the other weighs a steak.

what's the difference between a bell and a robber?
One peals from the steeple, the other steals from the people.

Women's football.


ARF ARF GUFFAW


Last edited by MeechMunchie; 09-12-2009 at 03:29 AM..
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  #96  
09-12-2009, 06:39 PM
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More Gilbert Gottfried. Yes, he's the guy who voiced Iaggo.

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  #97  
09-13-2009, 10:55 AM
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I've invented a new sex position. The Tolkien. He bends over and I take over 6 hours to destroy his ring.
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  #98  
09-13-2009, 11:28 AM
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Gilbert Gottfried is sex. I think I liked it most when he voiced Santa.
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Last edited by Sekto Springs; 09-13-2009 at 12:05 PM..
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  #99  
09-13-2009, 02:40 PM
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How many niggers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Kentucky Fried Chicken
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  #100  
09-13-2009, 03:40 PM
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Leto, you would make Jacob proud. *rapes*
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  #101  
09-13-2009, 06:20 PM
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I like this version of the Aristocrats better.

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  #102  
09-14-2009, 09:26 AM
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I like my coffee like I like my women:

I don't like coffee
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  #103  
09-14-2009, 09:38 AM
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I like my coffee how I like my women:


With a spoon......

I'm so embarrassed.
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  #104  
09-14-2009, 09:39 AM
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Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, its male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If SHE asks you, it's a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and sexy underwear, you're a pervert. If you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to!
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  #105  
09-14-2009, 01:21 PM
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:
I like my coffee how I like my women:


With a spoon......

I'm so embarrassed.
You should be embarrassed and ashamed that you didn't ammend the punchline to read
"With cream".
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  #106  
09-14-2009, 01:25 PM
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No, shaman.
If you thought of it, then there's no way in hell Mat would have done it. His whole shtick is that he zigs when you expect him to zag.
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  #107  
09-14-2009, 01:28 PM
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Ah, but you see i was expecting him to zig.

So there.
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  #108  
09-14-2009, 05:18 PM
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I like my women like I like my coffee. Steaming hot and all over my crotch.
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  #109  
09-14-2009, 05:52 PM
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I like my women like I like my coffee.

Serving them to other people.
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  #110  
09-14-2009, 06:54 PM
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I like my women like I like my coffee.


COVERED IN BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!
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  #111  
09-14-2009, 09:56 PM
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Eddie Izzard is god. If I had known that's what you've been referencing this whole time, Nate, I would have given you mad props.
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  #112  
09-15-2009, 08:38 AM
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I like my women like I like my scarves. Hot, soft, and wrapped around my face.

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  #113  
09-15-2009, 09:52 AM
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I like my women how I like my men.

With big dicks.
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My bowels hurt.

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  #114  
09-15-2009, 04:42 PM
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I like my women how I like my coffee...
In a cup.
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  #115  
09-15-2009, 08:47 PM
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I think you mean [spoiler]In a plastic cup.[/tiny]


Two code tags, both alike in dignity,
In fair OWF, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where html makes laptop keys unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their website's strife.
The fearful passage of their square-bracket'd love,
And the continuance of their vB's rage,
Which, but their code tag's end, nought could remove,
Is now the hundred more posts of our thread;
The which if you with patient eyes attend,
What here shall miss, our posts shall fail to mend. -BM
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Spending as long as I do here, it's easy to forget that Oddworld has actual fans.


Last edited by Bullet Magnet; 09-25-2009 at 01:08 PM.. : Billy's been inspired
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  #116  
09-16-2009, 02:16 AM
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Well you might need a tiny plastic cup, Nate...
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“I always believe the movies I've made are smarter than the way they are perceived by sort of mass culture and by the critics,” Snyder said, a statement he immediately followed by saying, “Also, ‘It looks like a video game.’


Last edited by Wings of Fire; 09-16-2009 at 02:28 AM..
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  #117  
09-16-2009, 03:09 AM
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Oh dear... I should probably fix my tag fail but I shall preserve the history for everyone else's amusement.
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  #118  
09-16-2009, 04:22 AM
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What happens when you get a blowjob from a ferret?
You break open it's jaws and have sex with it's throat.
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  #119  
09-16-2009, 06:38 AM
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My favourite sexual position is the JFK.

I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
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  #120  
09-18-2009, 12:02 PM
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don't get me wrong though , i do hate racism.
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Last edited by abe619; 09-18-2009 at 10:02 PM..
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