Stupid answers for stupid questions

[moxco]

A. Drown him, then when his dead pull his brain out and eat it.
Q. What happens if A says to B " wanna rape C"?

[used:)]

A: They **** you up the ass instead. Hard. With spoons and forks.

Q: Why are gay people not struck down by the almighty?

[OANST]

A. God is secretly homosexual.

Q. How do I know this?

[used:)]

A: Apparantly, what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas.

Q: What can you really do with a dollop of daisy?

[snuzi]

A: Whatever your little heart desires.

Q: If the first step is admitting the problem, what's the second?

[Rex Tirano]

A: Dancing on your grave.

Q: How can you tell your fiancé isn't a zombie?

- Rexy

[Slaveless]

A: When s/he doesn't invite his dead relatives to the wedding.

Q: If it takes one stone to kill two birds, how many stones are used to kill three?

[Havoc]

A: One and heif!

Q: Would the spleen of a remote control be hard to dismember?

[snuzi]

A: It all depends on whether or not you're up to the challenge.

Q: Should I have slept last night?

[mitsur]

A: No, because I was in ur base, killing ur d00ds

Q: If I slept with a toaster, then killed a fish, how tall is a communist?

[E'l Scrabino]

As tall as the amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

w00t!?!?

[Havoc]

A. NO!! WHEEEEEE!!!!

Q. What happens if a keyboard burns alive?

[snuzi]

A: It will make horrible screaming noises that will haunt your dreams until the day you die.

Q: Knock knock?

[Bullet Magnet]

A: BLAM BLAM. Gotcha, you sonofabitch.

Q: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight?

[snuzi]

A: You killed me, remember? Do you really expect a dead guy to respond to some cheesy song?

Q: What should I do next?

[Slaveless]

A: Go check on the lion and clap as loud as possible to make sure that it is in fact asleep!

Q: If the lion is awake, does he live?

[snuzi]

A: As long as he doesn't do anything stupid, yes.

Q: Why choose a lion, of all things?

[Bullet Magnet]

A: He's a Leo-Havoc

Q: To be or not to be. That isn't actually a question, is it?

[artos]

A: not unles your shakespear

if 31 people get on a bus and then 2 have a get off. how many people want chips?

[snuzi]

A: It all depends on which ones know how to use proper grammar.

Q: Who? What? Where? How?

[Rex Tirano]

A: Everybody dance now!

Q: What do you do when the time comes?

- Rexy

[Bullet Magnet]

A: I set the clocks back so I've still got a couple of hours.

Q: Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare? All your sins punished?

[mitsur]

A: I don't fear death, I fear tasty, cookie by-products dipped in slime made from the entrails of a cat eaten by a lion after it escaped from a zoo, then got run over by a redneck who drove a Buick made in Indiana, where a assembly line worker that swallowed a rabbit that was the great, great, great, great grandson of the rabbit Merlin pulled from his hat when he was a child, thus making him a Wizard, and serving King Arthur, was killed in a tragic shmelting accident.

Q: What would happen if I created an alternate universe, and killed myself with a shtick, after making myself immortal in this universe?

[snuzi]

A: Syntax Error.

Q: How many times have you spoken throughout your entire life?

[mitsur]

A: 3.453557652 x 1054

Q: Two men meet in a bar. What is the poledancer's name?

[Bullet Magnet]

A: Trick question. There is no spoon.

Q: Question mark?

[Nemo]

A. No, exclamation point.

Q. What's the answer to life?

[E'l Scrabino]

Explode.

K?

[Slaveless]

No thank you, I am a letter 'Y' fan.

Q: What is the difference between a telephone and an igloo with no one in it?

[snuzi]

A: The igloo doesn't run up your electric bill.

Q: If I were a vampire who just happened to work for the IRS, how old would I be?