Cyberbullying

[Havoc]

What is this, I mean seriously. CSI did an episode about it, taking a very noticeable moral stance (which was sickening to say the least). I turn on the TV to hear Dr. Phil ramble about cyberbullying is bad and some uptight parents who want an anti cyberbullying law.

When did bullying stop being part of school? I know not a single person who hasn't been bullied at one point in their life and for most of them it didn't hurt them. It builds character in my opinion.

Now everyone is falling over kids who go on Facebook and Myspace and MSN and Skype and call each other NAMES. Names, really. Kids have commited suicide because a bunch of kids from their school kept sending them messages that hurt their feelings. SUICIDE! Because of words! That's worth a Darwin Award right there. There is a BLOCK button on all these things, fucking USE it! If people stalk you on your phone, get a new phone number and keep it for your real friends only. It's not that difficult!

And where are the parents in this story? The parents who are screaming for a law against cyberbullying, is it really that much trouble to contact the other parents and keep the bully grounded for the next 2 weeks? Apparently it is because god forbid parents have to raise their own kids these days. That's what schools and the state are for, huh?

So what do you think about cyberbullying? Has it happened to you or someone near you and how did you handle it? Should there be a law for it?

[Dixanadu]

I can't say I've ever been cyberbullied. Maybe people have attempted but I didn't feel like I was bullied, I felt like they were being internet tough guys.

If you mean cyberbully as in the 'ME AND MY FRIEND WILL KICK YOUR HEAD IN IF YOU DONT DO W/E', I think it's telegraphing an obvious presence, though I hate bullying in any form. I like banter or mild slagging, but there is a line one must not cross.

There should be no law for it; the Report Abuse or Block button is there for a reason.

Or just not go on the internet at all.

[Wings of Fire]

I think Havoc has never been seriously bullied in his life. It's the only explanation for his horseshit.

[Ridg3]

I think WoF is right. That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever read. Bullying is fucking horrible and I don't want anyone to feel like shit due to bullying because I was severely bullied at school.

As for that 'bullying builds character' nonsense, you're wrong, bullying creates bullies.

[OddjobAbe]

SUICIDE! Because of words! That's worth a Darwin Award right there.

I'm not too interested in this topic right now, but this little bit here caught my eye, because I think it is ridiculous that you suggest that victims of this stuff are indefinitely all stupid.
You need to consider the possibility that it is not the words or even the implications of the words which upset them. It is the situation. A lot of these people put up with shit at school. That's shit as it is. They come home to relax and enjoy themselves, and they find that it even continues at home. A block button does not remove them from the situation - they probably still feel stifled by the attitude taken to them by some people, which is bound to cause copious amounts of stress. To say that this is good for them in that it "builds character" is ridiculous.

I do agree that suicide is stupid, but some people are very emotional and do not know how to behave in certain situations, which is why they deserve as much support as they can get.

[Havoc]

Name calling is hardly bullying. If there's something going on at school that continues at home trough the internet it's a different matter, but that still leaves a block button on everything those people can use to reach you.

Bullying is like everything else in school, a learning experience. It teaches you how the real world works and you can either be overrun by it or stand up to it. A broken nose will sort a bully out right quick, trust me. That's why I said it builds character. It gives someone the experience they need to handle the same type of shit faced in the real world. You know, the place where parents and teachers don't come to your aid when someone calls you a loser.

I've been bullied for the better part of my life so I know exactly what what it is. It taught me people can be and often are assholes. It taught me that people act tough in a group and are pissing their pants when you confront them alone. It taught me that relying on someone else like the teachers or the police to fix it for you will leave you severely disappointed. And most important it taught me that the world is not a fair place and that you sometimes have to do things yourself.

Those are very valuable lessons to me and I don't know if I would have gotten those lessons any other way. Those experiences shaped me into the person I am today, so I wouldn't want to miss them for anything.

Creating a law against any kind of bullying won't fix anything. The most it will do is teach kids that laws are hardly ever respected, which is probably the only positive thing to come out of something like this.

[Bullet Magnet]

If words had no power, there would be no communication.

[Havoc]

Words have no power in a written form, let alone on the internet. They just have a meaning.

[Bullet Magnet]

Those meanings have power whn placed in the right context, ie a human mind which understands the language used. Those words have those meanings. Words have power, QED.

If they did not, could we have our emotions aroused by them, churned as though a storm? Could the poets capture our hearts and imaginations so? Could authors take us to worlds that never were without leaving our beds? Could libraries distort the fabric of space so? Could generations of tyrants feared them so much that they commanded the burning of books and outlawing of free speech? Could their constant abuse cause children to desire and commit suicide?

What is the difference between a world in which words have power over us, and a world where they do not yet everyone behaves exactly as though they do?

[MeechMunchie]

This thread is really, really stupid.*

Just putting that out there.

*Minus Dixanadu, Wings of Fire, Ridg3, OddJobAbe, Bullet Magnet and me, of course.

[T-nex]

This thread is really, really stupid.*

Just putting that out there.

*Minus Dixanadu, Wings of Fire, Ridg3, OddJobAbe, Bullet Magnet and me, of course.

I was going to say the same thing actually.

Any bullying is bad. Of course some fluffy name calling isnt worth getting upset over, but cyberbullying and other non-physical bullying isn't just one person calling another names. It's a group of people alienating and singling out on person making him feel like a piece of shit with no life... for years and years on end... Years of being told you're wrong and useless.
Trust me, I know what verbal bullying can do. Ive had my my bad years at school too, but at least I came out sort of intact. My friend though... She's another story. She's outright become unsocial and very mistrusting of people. She hates people downright and often lets them piss her off.
But being her, I can see why. She's been treated like shit by most people, even though no one really did anything violent.

Anyway most people come out fine, but there are those with very low mental pain threshold, and there's nothing about that, that make them deserve it or stupid. Just different people with different psyches.

So name calling isnt just name calling. It builds up stress. And depression. And more stress.

Took me about 20 years to learn to just be a bit normal and make friends and aquaintences after not really having anyone to relate to during all my years in folk school. I'm still very anti social and have social angst but I'm beginning to learn at least. And I wasnt even victim to too harsh bullying. Just alienation.

[Manco]

Words have no power in a written form, let alone on the internet. They just have a meaning.

Because there's no such thing as psychological effects.

Right?

[Dixanadu]

This thread is going to derail into a full-blown assfest in the next ten posts.

[Havoc]

Because there's no such thing as psychological effects.

Right?

Right. Maybe I've just learned to tune out all the bullshit that goes on on the internet, but I've never taken anything said to me on the internet personal. Let alone be depressed about it or let it control my life.

[Emesdee]

Cyber bullying is a whole other thing from bullying when I was growing up. Back when I was in school, bullying was generally people shoving my face into the mud and stealing my lunch money. Even still, there was an escape, when school was out, I could go home and escape from the bullying. You can't do that with cyber bullying. Kids today don't have as many avenues of escape, they come home, get online, and can face continual harassment where the only escape is to totally seclude themselves from others.

I really don't get the "tough it out, nerd!" attitude a lot of people have. Maybe it's because they forget what it was like to be a teenager, maybe they have always been popular, never knowing what it was like to alone and picked on. Or maybe they are just that out of touch with normal human feelings. Being a teenager is a terrible time for many people, and emotionally fragile time. So of course having people embarrassing you for the entire world to see, or telling someone to kill themselves is not harmless.

[Manco]

Right. Maybe I've just learned to tune out all the bullshit that goes on on the internet, but I've never taken anything said to me on the internet personal. Let alone be depressed about it or let it control my life.

You're (presumably) a hairy, cynical bear who's built up a thick skin when it comes to the Internet. School-aged kids aren't going to have that resistance.

[Havoc]

There's such a thing as common sense. If someone is harrasing you on MSN you block them, yet this seems to never happen. For some reason the victim leaves all contact with his/her bullies open, which is something I don't understand. Maybe it's a school culture thing, but I don't get why somebody doesn't slap those kids in the face and tell them to use the block button and get a new phone number. They might not have the resistance but their parents should have. An older brother or sister should have. Someone who cares about them should be able to slap some sense into a high school kid being cyber bullied. Why is that not happening?

[AvengingGibbons]

There's such a thing as common sense. If someone is harrasing you on MSN you block them, yet this seems to never happen. For some reason the victim leaves all contact with his/her bullies open, which is something I don't understand. Maybe it's a school culture thing, but I don't get why somebody doesn't slap those kids in the face and tell them to use the block button and get a new phone number. They might not have the resistance but their parents should have. An older brother or sister should have. Someone who cares about them should be able to slap some sense into a high school kid being cyber bullied. Why is that not happening?

I know myself, when someone says something nasty to me online, I will argue back and I always have, even though the things they say hurt me, and will continue to do so as long as I am arguing back. It's not natural for all ppl to go for the 'block' button when they're getting insulting, offensive, bullying messages sent their way. Many will do what I do and argue back, EVEN THOUGH it will still be damaging to myself. I know now that maybe it is a better idea to block them immediately, but when I was younger (a child) I won't have understood the consequence of the choices I make. Chidlren may continue to communicate with the bully, even though it upsets them furthermore. Children are immature, which is why they need protection.

[STM]

I thankfully have never been cyber bullied, I was bullied three times at school when I was a lot younger though, thankfully I don't know any one who would do it to me again, also I can take care of myself.

Unfortunately I do know two girls who got cyber bullied and it's a terrible terrible thing, not only does it make you feel absolutely shit, there are so many different types of CB, sometimes it deviates into physical abuse, one of the girls I know had the shit kicked out of her after CB became very real and physical. Any one who does it is a lower life form and needs to be re-educated in how a human should act.

[Dipstikk]

You're (presumably) a hairy, cynical bear who's built up a thick skin when it comes to the Internet. School-aged kids aren't going to have that resistance.

Pretty much this. Verbally, Havoc, you're dismissing these things as "people/situations being stupid," when what you're really saying is, "they're not as good at this as me, ergo I can't understand why they have such a problem with it." The thing is, not everyone's as good at taking shit as we are. I'm sure you'll claim you've been good at it all along, but truth is, we all have to develop a thick skin. If you can't understand why people succumb to it, don't just assume that there's some illogical reason behind it, or that they're "weak."

We're all "weak," in some way or another, by ours or someone else's definition. That's the flaw in "social darwinism." I consider the closed-minded and ignorant to be "weak." Others might take my flaws and claim I'm "weak" for having them. Social Darwinim is little more than another word for "schadenfreude, and having a less-Germanic-but-still-smart-sounding word to describe that so we feel superior and less petty while we do it. Might as well use the word Schadenfreude.

Bottom line is, you're not even trying to see this empathically. Get yourself and your ego out of the situation and look at these situations through other people's eyes. If you can't do that, you might as well stop complaining because all you're doing is setting yourself into a perpetual cycle of frustration, and if you're not even going to try to understand the situation you're so irked over, nobody else wants to hear it.

Every goddamn person has some kind of weakness, Havoc. Even you.

[Havoc]

Hey look someone finally figured me out. Well shit.

[Wings of Fire]

I was in a very abusive friendship through most of my teens, and not once did I consider breaking off contact with them because I was lonely and had a abusee mentality.

Same thing here. On some level these kids think they deserve this abuse, and no high words from you about how they should just press the block button and man up is going to help.

[Havoc]

Puh. They're all weak.

[STM]

See know you realise you've been sussed.

[Dipstikk]

Puh. They're all weak.

Let's all give Havoc a minute to compose himself.

[Havoc]

Ok... I think I'm ok now.

[Mac Sirloin]

I love the idea of Havoc having to deal with cyberbullying in his underage chatrooms, and THAT is what motivated him to make this thread. Because his ass got told by a twelve year old.

[Daxter King]

I remember this one time some kids were making fun of a girl in the 1st grade because she couldn't swim. I tried to defend her by yelling back at them.

The teacher made me sit in the hallway, it taught me that I should never interfere with a bully.

[MA]

look at this shit, Havoc. its all such a painfully predictable pattern. after you've been logically bludgeoned into the ground X amount of times in a thread, once again, you decide to try and go with "U mad, guys?" or some other inane bullshit. that's the reason why i don't bother taking you seriously anymore. i've seen things crawl out of my gullet after a heavy drinking session that are prettier than these 'arguments' of yours you keep squeezing out.

[moxco]

Havoc I think you need to realise their is a vast difference between occasionally slipping an insult into an statement and continuous harassment and threats. Although I have never really been bullied extensively I have dealt with some intimidating people before (though not really over facebook) and I can tell you it is not very pleasant. It is not overly difficult to fathom someone (for bullying happens to so many people) committing suicide; constant taunting can really make you feel shit.