thread: Small Worlds
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  #16  
05-05-2011, 03:05 AM
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scipionyx
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:
Having said the poem's structureless, it actually has to feel right. I can't change one word without changing the shape of the whole line, and I can't change the line without adjusting the lines around it. There are definitely rules for the structure that the poem follows; I just don't know any of them (or ever will, probably). Writing is more like driving a train than driving a car or a plane; I can control many things but ultimately I don't decide (or often even know, so maybe it's like driving a train while drunk) where I'm going.

LoL I can relate to this xD but that's why i like to write poems

anyway the first stanza sounds much better now, great! 8D


...."In Lauren’s lullaby
There are promises and stories
Older than the stars and younger than
The dreams of
yesterday."...

-that's what i wanted to suggest when i read the last stanza but
'dreams of yesterday' doesn't really fit with young but 'today' wouldn't fit in the line ...so never mind xD

Hey I look forward to the story you wrote !!!
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