[Mac Sirloin]

Yeah, sorry to disappoint. I woke up feeling like bitching and moaning about something. That post will go down as one of my best worst posts. A little homophobic maybe, but that's never been my habit. I will probably end up playing Overwatch, truth be told.


So DOOM is amazing. Really, it's fantastic. I would argue it's worth waiting a little while since it cost me almost 100$ to preorder, but don't wait too long. It's really, truly engaging and fresh.

I'm playing it on console, which raises so many questions about why we can't just use a fucking mouse and keyboard to play shooters on consoles. Much as I enjoy my PS4 and the various exclusives, DOOM's gameplay focuses more on mobility than strategic gunplay and none of the configurations for the Dual Shock 4 really suit the momentum you can see in footage of people playing on PC. There's plenty of auto-aim compensation to keep it from feeling like you're flubbing all of your shots, but it's still a glaring flaw to be unable to jump and aim at the same time with all but one of the controller configs.

I mean, I can tiptoe around this but the fact is: Play DOOM on PC. It is simply less functional without mouse and keyboard.

Still, it's fantastic. The Multiplayer is somewhere between Quake Live and Halo multiplayer. It's very quick and visceral, and it's really hard to leave a match feeling frustrated or bad when every kill is immensely satisfying and quick. You can really fuck people up in this game. I mean really.

I did not play the beta so I can't compare the two experiences, but DOOM's multiplayer feels very complete, there are no missing pieces but it could always use a few extra maps.


BattleBorn/Battleborn/Bottlebarn/Bollywood is a ton of fun. I've never played a MOBA style game before but I loved the first Borderlands and Battleborn had that same promise, I could feel it in my guts. However for an 80$ game it needs some more freaking maps. Six on release? Uh...okay....TWO per game mode? Oh fuck off Gearbox. Just slap something together in Unreal and call it an update, fuckers.

I was motivated to buy Doom and BollyBorn as a counterweight to Dark Souls 3. DS3's multiplayer has yet to be balanced and everyone's ganky as hell and fucking estocs and dark swords. I needed a break, but I don't think I've played Dark Souls in about a week now.

See, Doom hits this sweet spot in the multiplayer where you feel competitive and gloat over every victory and bemoan every loss, but it's...fun. I am a mad guy, and Doom doesn't leave me mad. I am generally extremely satisfied with Doom. Sorry to keep harping on this, but it has a great dichotomy; I never really display frustration with a game (yelling out YOU FUCKERS!!!! for example) but Doom brings that voice out of me. "CUNTSSSSSS" I will hiss at a loss. "EAT IT FUCKERS" I will bellow with a win. It's perfect.

Battleborn is different, it's a bit more personal because you aren't just some nameless marine meatbag, you're...a character, probably one you like if you're playing as them with the intent to win, so dying or losing is more furstrating, but you have plenty of oppurtunities to get people back.

I completely understand why DOTA 2 and LoL are so huge though. The MOBA style is extremely competitive and since there is ALWAYS something to do if you're not intent on killing other players, you really feel let down for not accomplishing something with a life. I'm still getting out of the habit of rushing into combat on my own, but Battleborn has a lot of promise. I would suggest waiting for the complete edition on this game.

But, get DOOM on sale if you can. It is an immensely fun and gory experience and worth every penny, but still, couldn't hurt to pick it up at a discount.

Now, let's talk about Doom's singleplayer. It's really, really, really good. My first time through I found the plot a little cheesey: 'HELL ENERGY', but despite a sincere cliffhanger of an ending it's overall a really solid experience. It doesn't feel like a training mode for the multiplayer, which I think is important for a game separating itself from a lot of shooters these days.

It's not Doom 3. It's not survival horror, there are no flashlights or jumpscares, you are a badass. The player character, the Doom Marine is appropriately silent but there are a handful of times that they use the bluntness and destructivity of his character for decent comic effect.

Peter Cullen (guy who voiced Optimus Prime) plays a quasi-antagonistic robot/god emperor who is a lot of fun, completely humorless and manipulative. He guides the player, but I never got a sense he was necessarily a good guy, just the lesser of two evils.

In Doom 3 you start the game before the demonic invasion actually hits. It's a neat little intro, and you learn a lot about the world. There are things happening that are completely outside of your grasp.

I think DOOM makes use of the world built in Doom 3; you are ostensibly on the same base that was attacked in that game, the world works much the same way except instead of a cold industrial empire, the UAC facilities feel like some kind of nightmarish high-tech cult.

It's a great balance between the story-heavy elements of Doom 3 with all the quickness and necessity for action that the original Doom and Doom 2 had. You can go through the entire game with no real understanding or direction whatsoever or you can explore a little and learn about how the UAC created such a mess.

It's a great shooter experience after years of tactical/military style games. It feels fun, has a distinct (if derivative) visual style and plays like a dream. All I'd ask out of a sequel are more horrific designs for the monsters; google the various designs for the Mancubus, and you might see what I do in that the DOOM mancubus is just missing something to make it truly horrifying. The Doom 3 designs were generally unsettling and weird, but most of the baddies in DOOM feel a little too...bright. Again, the Doom 3 mancubus has glossy black eyes, a tenetacle/gas mask face and is covered in sallow, rotting skin. It makes unpleasant groaning sounds just looks too horrible to exist, let alone look at. The DOOM mancubus looks like the Shadow Broker. It irks me.