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If you're thinking Forge, it's not that hard either - the setup itself creates the server/clients for you, then its a case of just looking for what mods you want and placing the .jars in the /mods folder on the client and
Of course, the key is finding mods that aren't so heavy that users/the server itself tank with them, as is the case with most 'good' Forge mods.
Also Vanilla does suck, *especially* since 1.10. I would argue since 1.6, multiplayer has been dead af. (I know I dropped off hosting on 1.7 due to shit netcode and shit support on mojangs behalf, also slightly cos it was boring)
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Personally, since I tried to get back into Minecraft I feel that most of the best mods are for 1.7.10. Some good ones went forward to 1.8 but I've seen hardly anything good for 1.9 and above. I think most people stopped playing past 1.7.