I guess I kind of realised it before, but it only really sunk in that I couldn't just ignore the fact that I was unpleasant, irritable and annoying and everything would be okay when my girlfriend of two years whom I thought I was going to marry left me in tears and said she still loved me but couldn't be around me. And yeah, she got with someone else a month later and admitted that she hadn't been in love with me for a long time, but the reasons for that were the same. I don't want to treat anyone horribly, let alone people I love, and I need to change so that I can avoid acting like that and be aware of it when I am.
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