Pious (story)
Hopping out of lurk mode to post the intro of a little story I'm starting. I won't say what setting it's set in, fans of a certain something will pick it out real fast at a certain point here. Anyway, please rip-tear criticize, as I need it. Enjoy.
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“It’s det song agin...”
The light in the tunnel was a pasty glow, as it always was. The walls seemed to ooze it, not so much a vivid syrup of shine that one would think should permeate walls, but an oppressive slime which made the entirety of the place feel as though it was gradually closing inward. The walls were partly to blame, of course. Although they were carved out of a thick granite and dry to the bone, the mire of the light off their jagged surfaces seemed to give them the appearance that they would be unpleasantly slick to the touch. The floor was no better, the dirt which it was composed of almost always had a constantly muddy squish to them that felt strangely unpleasant. It was a simple tunnel, that could be said, but in it’s simplicity it gave off a complex feeling of unease, quite possibly an intention.
Two guards trudged along the length of the tunnel. Even among Saldians it could be asserted that these two individuals were undeniably dim, but their size and tempers made up for that fact (a common occurrence in some societies). Their armor is Saldian regulation, slightly corragulated full plate which was designed simply to serve a purpose. Both had war-axes clutched to their sides, constantly gripped in case some anxiety fueled beast might burst out of their Id, although such tension was not without merit. They were
in the 6th level of the dungeon, the deepest pit beneath the earth of the city, reserved for those whose crimes were considered to great for them to be near creation.
“Damn bastard, ‘es got nothing to sing about.”
“Y’said it yerself, this one’s more fer gone than most of the others doon ‘ere.”
“Still, et jist ai’nt right.”
It is worth noting that the Salidian language is riddled with such grammatical errors and mistakes, large tusk-like teeth coupled with the fact that the language itself was learned through interaction with other, shall we say, more civil races, led to a crude dialect.
The first guard had been counting off the cells as the two walked, a mammoth task for a brain which had most likely been resolved to the daily problem of, “You see it, you charge it, you gore it,” but even such a brain could comprehend the enormity of the situation.
“How many did ‘e kill...”
“They nevar told yea?”
“I never had teh nerve ter ask.”
“At least twenty-eight...dey tink there whir more...meny more...”
The first guard at last stopped before a cell door. It was enormous, more a gigantic plateof metal than a portal. Amidst the twisted angry steel a keyhole was to be found, peering out from the metal.
With slightly shaky hands the guard pulled out a large and ornate key.
“Be ready for anyfin...”
With a tiny grinding noise the key slid in, the sounds of unseen cog and gear churning in the darkness emerged from the door. With mind numbing slowness the gate dragged itself inward, as the half-light rolled into the chamber. The singing from within abruptly stopped.
Although frightening would not be a word commonly used to describe rooms of any sort, it can be used in this instance. The room on the whole resembled the tunnel outside, forbidding, dreary, and inspiring unease. It was cramped, and had a terrible reeking staleness to it. The point which made the room truly disturbing was the far wall, which itself was covered in a multitude of blood red runes and symbols, which made ones eyes hurt to look at and inspired haunting thoughts of murder and pain.
Although the room paled, utterly paled, to it’s resident. Sitting by the left wall was a figure. It’s skin, was it skin? It seemed to be a kind of scale almost, but it had a sort of texture to it which seemed like fur. It’s hands and feet were not indeed hands and feet, but more like talons of a sort, that is to say there were only 3 fingers or toes, and there seemed to be no distinction between the extremity and nail. It’s ears were the only thing which
could be seen as the least bit comical to the thing, they were large and batlike, almost an afterthought used to offset the numerous small hornlike growths appearing from the things skull and neck with a varied symmetry.
The thing turned it’s head toward the two guards, who at that point most likely stank of fear. Those eyes! These were the things which put other terrors to shame. These were the things which you see leering out at you in nightmares. They were large, almond shaped eyes, set back slightly in the skull but at the same time they seemed to bulge outward. They were red, a deep and brutal crimson, and they had no discernible pupil, save for two
lines where the contrast changed ever so slightly in the sea of red which may have signified the pupil or an iris.
More importantly than anything else, however, was the fact that they glowed and burned and raged with an unhinged madness.
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