I've noticed that the blogs haven't been getting much turnover, so in order to spice things up I'm going to create one of my meaningful, sincere entries. These generally get pushed off the front page in a couple of hours, so you can thank me when you've got six new things to read and comment on.

Today was my dad's interment. His funeral and cremation were over a month ago, it just took this long sort out a date with the crematorium. There is a family plot there where my grandmother's...

I'm heading up to Sheffield so I can sit my retakes. I have still not had either the time or mindset to revise, so the chance of my performing better than previously is next to nil. Which means I will officially fail a year at university for the second time. At this point I quite expect them to turn around and not let me continue there in any capacity, including retaking the year or the modules I've failed.

I don't feel particularly bad about all that, but I feel fucking rotten...

Continue reading...

The good news: I have discovered that my mum's spare bedroom is small enough for me to use my laptop while it's connected to the mains and the internet. Wheee!

The bad news: I discovered this while desperately finding things to distract me from my mum's sex moans a couple of rooms over.

The fucked up news: There's every possibility that the mortgage company won't transfer the mortgage to me, meaning I won't be able to put the house up for rent. I which case I'll have...

Well, not fun, but a relief to get out of the way. And I was feeling very peopled out for the whole day. Yesterday was the first time in a long while I’ve felt bad for not being being more sociable. It’s as though my dad’s death gave me an excuse to be insular. I figured that neither me nor anyone else could expect me to know how to behave, so I happily let myself keep to myself.

Not that I don’t love my family to pieces. In fact, the opposite. It’s just...

Today I got my results for this academic year. I failed.

I’ve failed before, time and time again in fact. I haven’t had a single semester yet that didn’t require resit exams in the summer. This time I have two of those, and this year obviously I am in no frame of mind to either sit down and study or sit down and take an exam. I’ve written to my tutor briefly describing my extenuating circumstances, but I expect they’ll need to know more.

This summer I had...

My dad died yesterday afternoon. He said he wasn't feeling well and went to lie down. When I checked on him maybe quarter of an hour later he was cold and rigid and not breathing.

I'm waiting for the coroner to call. She called while I was in the shop and I asked her to call back in ten minutes. That was an hour and a half ago. I want to know what the fuck happened.

Don't know how much I'll be here. I don't know what to do with myself. I may want the distraction and...

I have returned to Sheffield from my recent fieldtrip to an Internetless sector of the west of Ireland. I had an enjoyable time after all that intense consternation beforehand, and the weather was quite the reverse of what it traditionally is: I received my first sunburn of the year recording the diameter of pebbles on an old potato field. I also received a drunken but official pardon from someone I got a little too frisky with when off my face earlier in the academic year, which was nice. The end...

I am back home from university for the Easter holidays, or at least as much of them as I can enjoy. Ten days or so of my precious three weeks are to be spent in western Ireland on a fieldtrip. This displease me greatly. Odds are I won’t be on OWF during those ten days, and odds are I won’t be on OWF on the days leading up to them.

So everyone had better have a good time without me, or I’m going to have to come back ahead of schedule.

There are two doors, and each door has one guard stationed at it.

The first guard always tells the truth.

The second guard always makes grammatical errors.

The third guard can’t tell the difference between night and day.

What question do you ask the fourth guard?

Last night, as I was lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for sleep to come, I saw neon lights flashing on the back of my eyelids. My mind was thinking about something else entirely, and then these lights appeared.

They started at the bottom and went upwards, one ‘sign’ at a time. One was such a bright red that when I opened my eyes I had that blur you get when you’ve looked at something too bright.

I assume I’m going to die soon.