Why do we live in a society where an ominous, unseen but surely clean and sterile white clinic serves the answer to "what happens to old dogs"? Why does it have to fall to me to singlehandedly organize and price check the imminent termination of my beloved dog?
I want nature to take its course. I can clean up dog piss, I've done it my whole life. I can carry him outside, I grew as he aged. I can make sure his old, rattling body gets enough food and water. I can still watch him, and talk...

I always find myself bogging down my iPod/music device with a plethora of samey-sounding stuff that I've had for like a year and a half, so I've spent the last 2 hours sitting in my awfully hot 3rd floor room putting together a bunch of new music.

I also discovered I have about 4 Gigabytes of Genesis. Nice.

Hello all. I've been not posting for about 3 weeks because I threw a temper tantrum about people disagreeing with me. This was dumb as hell, though I have a very long list of valid excuses for my behavior, I'm going to stick with: "The way I acted was infantile and wholly foolish. I apologize to anyone directly involved. P.S. I hate your rotten guts."

Doubtful as I am that any of you have noticed my absence, allow me to fill you in on what I've been up to, because god knows my shit's...

Okey dokey Folkies. Since about February I've been working through a Temp agency at a couple of Factories. The first is a Procter & Gamble owned MEGALITH that makes Maxi pads and Olay creams. Typically, I'll work 12 hours a shift there with the occasional 3-8 hour exceptio, starting at 7:00AM/PM. Unfortunately shifts began to slow down and dissipate about a month ago. I'd been promised a full time position (two days on, two days off, over and over) in early April, but that never manifested. I found...

It's a chilly wednesday in spring, the sky, overcast, my pants, smelling of long-since worn in farts, myself...well past the point of caring. My tarantula, Zooey, sits idly by enjoying the slurptastic carapce of a cricket. Suddenly, she speaks.
"Pray, what doth life?" She asks.
"You a spider. You don't talk." I retort.
"Yeah." She says.
"Nah." I reply.
"No see, only you can hear me. I'm a magiucantula. I can grant you three wishes. You only get two though since...

Ugh. Remember Jordan? He's the one who helped me 'kill myself' for like ten minutes last Summer. Brain on a boat aneurysm or something.

Anyhoo, on Friday night he called me at about 6:00PM to make plans. I already had plans with other friends made days prior. I lied to him, saying I was going to be driving with my dad because Jordan has no other friends than me and gets all jealous and huffy if I tell him I already have plans with other people. No one more important to Jordan than...

March 11th (yesterday, at this point) was my friend Aaron's birthday. We'd been planning a venture down to the bar all week, and today was the day. I fell asleep at 10:00AM, woke up at 3:00PM and spent most of the time cleaning in preparation for some of my aunts visiting. It was a simple, enjoyable afternoon.

At about 4:30,-5:00 I texted Aaron (who would've been off work by now) to ask what the plan was. Hours passed, filled with cleaning, playing TF2 and various other boring crap....

Let me make a point of saying that usually, when/if I get sick, I get more sick than most people and it usually only happens once or twice a year. More sick meaning a seemingly unprovoked few days of endless vomiting, horrible burning diarrhea and utter exhaustion. Really just the most vile state a human being can be in without it being life-threatening.

So anyway, I caught this cold about a week ago by getting my feet soaked in the middle of the woods. Since it's Winter/Canada, it...

Okay. 'What if' scenario: You have diarrhea from a cold gotten by not wearing warmer clothes for the current weather. At the same time, your butt is constipated from a gorging on bacon and cheese a day earlier. The mass of vicious half-turd seemingly erupting from some arcane portal out of every pore for half a second before descending painlessly out of your butt and being left with a mysterious but irreducibly warm and pleasant feeling much like meeting the first friendly rays of summer sun in...

Back in the old time, Valentines Day was The Valentines Gray--an overcast daymare where couples would beat single people up and steal their limbs for the gods of Petty Passion. Eventually, the limbless masses accumulated into one giant Valentines Fray, and some onlookers, seeing a bunch of amputees fighting couples, declared it to be "Valentines Gay". The queen of Egypt, who never existed, decided that the writhing mass of onlookers, limbless rebels and Tyrannical lovers was pretty damn cool, so...