So I've been having a blast with my car so far, but as with any used car, there are a few niggles, here are the problems with it.

-The fuel gage don't work, it moves, but the gage appears to read whatever the hell it feels like.

-The boot keyhole does not work, so the boot needs to be unlocked on the central locking.

-The dashboard lights are a bit funny, went over a speed bump last night and it knocked the lights out, so I hit the dashboard and suddenly...

JennyGenesis

Every fucking time I try to have a close friend this happens. Every time. I get a group of friends and we start regularly hanging out and being awesome and my depression finally starts lifting and I start doing things and being healthy and not wasting away like the waste of life I usually am, but then just fucking out of no where they end up hating each other. It's almost always over stupid shit too. And then the group disbands. And I can't really be friends like I used to because all they do around...

Job McYossie

I've lived across the street from an elementary and high school for most of my life. The brief respites from this living situation had their own horrors conceived of ill-planning and zealotry. I'm moving soon. A proper move, hopefully before the end of June. I can't precisely articulate how living practically door-to-door with these institutions is bothersome...

Mac Sirloin

Does anyone want to see my dick?

Dixanadu

Ah, spring. A season of life and rejuvenation, new beginnings, and a visceral preview of the lowest bowels of Hell.






Buggers half an inch long, emerging from stagnant pools all along the river in the woods. They were fascinating at first, feeding exclusively on the sugar-rich ooze from the phloems of plants, but then they began to mate. Suddenly, the females needed raw protein to build their eggs, and they all know where to get it.
...

Bullet Magnet

(IF YOU ARE EATING DON'T READ THIS JUST FINISH YOUR MEAL, HUG A LOVED ONE AND THEN READ IT)
(In hindsight I poorobably shouldn't read health blogs after drinking)
Don't sit down.

Most, if not all of you are probably sitting down right now. You're getting your buns nice and comfy, grinding them against the fabric of your chair preparing to interpret whatever the hell message I've packed into this blog. Worry not, because it's a pretty clear message and I'll be repeating...

Mac Sirloin

Seriously, the movie was so bad I wanted to walk out. Sadly I was past the point of getting my money back, so I braved the cliche-storm. I should have left, money back or not.

First things first: Fuck Jesse Eisenberg, and fuck that melon-headed uggo Emma Stone. Why? Jesse is another Michael Cera. Except uglier. Call me old fashioned, but the whole mumbling-mono toned-socially awkward-skinny-nerd thing just does absolutely nothing for me. Cera and Eisenberg CAN'T FUCKING ACT. Now,...

Disgruntled Intern

Another big fail from Google's social networking department - they won't let me join.

enchilado

so not like anyone cares or anything but whatever

i'm a transwoman.

cool thanks bye everyone

Nemo

🐟

Nepsotic