Hello, fellow MEN! Today Splat's Productions brings you an epic documentary on Man Cooking, useful for when you're left alone in a house for a length of time greater than, say, 3 hours.

At times like these it becomes necessary to provide fuel for one's Manly activities, such as Zombie-Hunting, Plug-Wiring and Radiator-Painting (to name but a few). Since the better quality Man Fuel provided, the better the output of aforementioned Man Activities, this documentary aims to show a suitably...

I learnt to write by writing fanfiction: deal with it, OANST!

I didn't want to write rubbish stuff, silly 'hook up characters who totally should be hooked together', 'insert character strongly resembling myself so I can meet/save the life of/make out with the hero/heroine of the story' and so on. I wanted to write good stories, and it happened to be that so many of my favourite works, including Oddworld, inspired me, so I built stories around the source of my inspiration.
...

So my mum wanted the cable shortened on her radio so I volunteered to use my GCSE Physics experience (so it wasn't all useless after all) to complete the task on her behalf! Armed only with a pack of useless screwdrivers and a pair of extraordinarily heavy wire clippers, I set to work!


First I unscrewed the plug and removed the cable and didn't lose any of the screws!

Then I had a quick practice with the wire...

The only option is to post something completely out of character and really rather juvenile.

I believe it highlights one of the greatest, most infuriating degradations to fester within our society at this time.

I call it


Begone! O cloudy apple juice!
Thine taste art most obscene!
I'd rather drink a foul mix
Of soap and kerosene!

Begone! O cloudy apple juice!
Most curséd on my lips!
I wouldst not sup such nectar vile
With eggs or ham or chips!

Begone!...

Way back in May 2009 I posted a blog asking deep and profound questions about the nature of advertising; namely, why did Youtube keep giving me adverts for Male Nuzzling?

Finally, on this...

When I was one and sucked my thumb I ran away to se-
Sorry, wrong start.

Last night I was lying in bed, being asleep (as is often the done thing) when I woke up (as is generally the way to conclude a period of sleep). At first I thought I had been woken by a dream which I will now describe.

I was reading a comic about some girls fighting zombies (no idea where that came from) but for some reason I cannot explain, I was only able to read tiny parts of the comic at...

A few days ago I went for a walk in the evening; there's a nature reserve right near to my house that I used to visit a lot with my siblings when I was younger. I don't often go there anymore, which is kind of a waste of a good thing, but anyway, the other night I did, and took my camera, just to see what happened.

http://www.oddworldforums.net/blog_a...1&d=1280610394

http://www.oddworldforums.net/blog_a...1&d=1280610394...

Warning: this blog is totally pointless.

I just couldn't let this momentous occasion go unnoticed.

http://www.oddworldforums.net/blog_a...1&d=1277684545

Yesterday morning I had my first day of Jury Duty. After being shown the metaphorical ropes, we were split into three groups, one told to come back tomorrow and the rest of us assigned one of two trials. Our trial was due to start after lunch, but after lunch break we were told the Judge had some legal issues to sort out and we would have to wait a little longer. A couple of hours after that, we were sent home.

This morning I returned and we were again told to wait a little longer....