Dear Mr Doubtfire
Congratulations; University of Portsmouth has asked us to tell you that it is offering you a place for Psychology with Criminology, C8M9; starting in September 2008 at point of entry 1.
The conditions of the offer are:

This offer is subject to you obtaining

300 points from 3x6 unit awards with a minimum of

100 points from A level Psychology

I

Dear Mr Doubtfire
Congratulations; Lancaster...

I am ill.

I have been ill for three weeks now.

I have done a load of A level exams while ill.

I haven't yet chucked up but have felt like doing so every hour of every day for three weeks.

I hate being ill.

Well my reputation is now over 50, making me much more reputable than most people on this forum who post more than me and for some strange reason Alcar.

I knew this wouldn't work.

I am currently amused.